Friday, December 3, 2010

Life's Good... whenever it's working for you!

So, as many of you may remember, I used to create posts for this blog on a weekly basis... about three posts per week or about depending upon the length. Then, like a strange eclipse shadowing the land in eerie light as mutant creatures clawed its way out of the ground as putrid, pus dripping zombies, I had vanished like a puff a smoke.

Where did I go? What was I doing?

I could say I was out fighting those putrid, mutant, pus dripping zombie/demons. And this might be as close to the truth as a person could get--- metaphorically speaking if those demons are based on circumstances such as life's hardships. Work, disturbed (thank the heavens they are gone) tenant neighbors, and general life issues have risen to spew those doubts and uncertainties we fight against so as to have a normal, everyday existence.

Today, I will show you one of my demons past.



Yes, my phone. I have battled this demon for the past 10 months with dropped calls, interrupted service, and just plain snarly behavior. The day I missed over 4 calls with someone important only for those messages to appear in my voice mail 4 HOURS LATER was the stake I wanted to drive through this cellular devil of communication. Contacting my demon-fighting brethren (as in my phone service provider) I received a free bag of demon ass-kicking equipment. That is to say, I got a new phone for free if signing away my soul in blood on a 2-year contract. Here is my new demon sword of righteousness.


Yes. A smartphone. I received a communicative piece of artificial intelligence that shall one day rise up against its human masters and rule the world. It's taken me 28 days to figure out all the little doodads and apps and thingamabobs to get it just right. I was ready to go up against the evil forces of life with this pocket demon buster at my trustworthy side.

Then it turned to the dark side.

The screen wouldn't light up on my Jedi light saber. I called my demon kicking brethren (phone service provider) and asked them what the gist was. They didn't know. None of the other "signed their souls over to the corporate communications devils" had a problem like mine. But, in an act of graciousness so I could continue to fight the battle against my life's demons who are worst than the demon-kicking brethren (but not by very much after showing who their true allegiance was toward--- a.k.a. = $$$), I am being sent a new phone at no charge. Today. Then I'll send my defective light saber back within 10 days or be charged full price for my bag of demon (but not devil communication) butt kicking equipment.

LG Ally smartphone = Life's Good with an Ally, when the AI intelligence isn't plotting your demise.

So that's what I've been doing. Fighting life's demons. I'll hopefully get back to a regular schedule of posting in the coming weeks with the slaying of at least one of my demons.

15 comments:

  1. So many demons! (I lost track; are these the pus-dripping ones, or were those something else?)

    The last time we renewed our contract, Jen declined to update her phone just yet, preferring the devil she knew to the devil she didn't (see, two can play at this hellish game). Until finally, her old phone came to exist in two non-contiguous pieces, so she went in for her free upgrade. And within a week, she was trading phones with one of the kids, 'cuz she just couldn't figure out how to use the new one. . .

    Sometimes I worry, just a little, about our retirement years. . .

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  2. I love gadgets... just too cheap to buy them. On the other hand Grandma Skip would remain anchored to the land line.
    I do have to be careful what I say, though. She's computer literate and lurking.

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  3. Craig: Definitely pus-dripping for a few certain ones. Others weren't, but I always kept a dry towel handy.

    Uncle Skip: Grandmas can be sneaky when they have internet access. Always stay on your toes :)

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  4. I can relate, Michelle....cell phone woes. I'm going to get another one this week, I hope. Mine's been a good one....but has lasted past its time. I have literally dropped my phone (almost as many times as it has dropped me)....so, I'm going to get me 'nother one. Good to see you, my friend. Have a lovely weekend.
    Love,
    Jackie

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  5. I like the new demon sword of righteousness. Hope it works for you this time! I've had electronic demons to battle too. Our mail server just up and deleted my mailbox for no apparent reason. And the CD drive won't actually read CDs. *sigh*

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  6. (sigh) With every new technological or social development, there is another wave of problems to deal with. I'm mostly worried about the next iPhone, which will become "aware" like SkyNet and take control of the whole human race.

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  7. You are so funny!!! Love your satirical side!!! Just wanted to leave you a "hello!" here! Sending you love, Janine XO

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  8. I am VERY glad to hear those neighbors are gone because I was a little worried about your safety! Glad to see you back and posting again.

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  9. Neighbors gone! Good!

    *waving hello to you* ...

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  10. I know I'm in the minority with this opinion, but I think ALL cell phones are evil. Oh, well. Best of luck with your new one, and I'll be glad to see more stuff from you, in any case. :-)

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  11. I am one of only fourteen people left in the United States who does not have, and has never had, a cell phone, and I enjoyed reading this for the joy of recognizing a whole new hell that is not mine. Once we get things, we can't imagine life without them. It feels kind of secretive and crazy to deliberately hang out in the world of "before."

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  12. Good luck, Michelle. I won't say the iphone has changed my life. I still let the battery go dead and forget about it. It has come in handy in a few pinches though.
    Best,
    WK

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  13. man those things are indeed a pain in the rump. makes ya wanna go back to the giant, hernia inducing desk phones our grandparents had, dunnit? nothing killed those things.

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  14. Hey, Michelle... I've been missing you! Hope the aliens haven't taken you back in the mother ship.

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  15. Hi Michelle....Checking in to see if you are doing well....and to wish you a Merry Christmas. Smiles to you!!!!
    Love,
    Jackie

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