Sunday, August 17, 2008

The dark and mysterious realms of Michelle’s never-never land

Beware of these murky depths.

Sometimes I have some messed up dreams! Do you want to hear about a few of them?

The mystical being is in danger! So this person flees into hiding as the evil forces go in search of her. We are following one evil dude, who happens to look like a cross between the Joker character in the new "Batman" movie and the character from "The Crow" movies. Eerie, now that I think about it. Both actors died before their movies were completed. See how twisted my mind can be sometimes?

So, we follow Joker/Crow in search of the mystical, all-powerful, savior of the planet. Much of it isn’t very interesting (well, it was . . . but most of my memories have faded by now.) Then there comes the BIG part. Heeeee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

The Joker/Crow drops in to pay a visit with one of his fearful minions. He moves toward the lackey, lifting hands, and then *explicit behavior*. Afterward, the Joker/Crow sits on the counter next to a can of dog food as the minion opens the door to reveal the naive mystical being that he had found. The Joker/Crow looks at the mystical being, all slap-happy in her childlike innocence without a care in the world and not realizing they will kill her now. The Joker/Crow stands up and whispers in the minion’s ear with shocked amusement.

"Did you lure her out of hiding with dog food?"

The lackey nods his head as the Joker/Crow chuckles, amused with his own deducing skills. "I knew that had to be the reason for the can on the counter!"

This dream ends.
The next dream . . .

The evil Martha Stewart has created a mall called the Omni. It is supposed to be a Utopia for the masses where a person can not only shop and eat, but also live in penthouses right inside the mall. Everyone is encouraged to stay there, even to the point where mounted police force people to sell their old homes and relocate to this shopper’s heaven.

Disaster! An earthquake hits the Omni. People are scrambling for the exit only to pass through the doors and discover they are still inside the building but up one level. It happens repeatedly. See the exit door with puffy clouds and birds chirping. Pass through the door to discover the next level in the mall. Horrifying! A small group bands together to get out (doesn’t this always happen?) as they discover a terrible secret when reaching the sixth floor food court.

The people sitting in the restaurant are in a daze. Some are even standing stock-still in the buffet line, just staring at nothingness, holding trays with maggot-infested food as falling walls are crushing others around them. Talking with an injured scientist, they discover that the mall was really a government experiment and the scientists had pumped mind-altering gas over the human lab rats. Not only this, but at least twenty of the floors in the Omni are underground, which is why the small group has not found a way out yet.

The group continues with their journey as tensions mount on which direction to take (I don’t know why this is an argument with them - if they are experiencing earthquakes in an underground building, the only sane way to go is up!) The group separates and only two people are left. To make a long story short, they make it to the exit on the top floor, bursting into sunshine . . . and a nuclear armageddon - hence the earthquakes. Wasteland as far as the eye can see with no food or water except that which was found inside the collapsing mall. Can’t win for trying, could they?

This dream ends.
The last dream I will torture you with today . . .

The day darkens. Night appears at noontime as everyone is looking up at the black sky. Then gale force winds rip through the parking lot. A strange dust devil blows the people about as another small group seeks shelter in the back of a semi-truck.

The tempest ends. The sun comes out. The world is quiet . . . too quiet. Several people go in search of answers only to discover a greenhouse filled with poisonous snakes as a dog the size of a jumbo jet rescues them. Then a grandmother flying a helicopter crashes while trying to save her infected granddaughter.

Her infected granddaughter? Yes, the little girl is infected with something that causes her to turn into a flesh-eating zombie. The soldier in the group takes her away as everyone else runs for a nearby warehouse. The motley group’s mission is to find out what is going on. Arming themselves with all kinds of bang-bang toys, they go around blowing up zombies while scaling down to the bottom floor. There, they discover a market square with zombie shoppers as the group shoots up the innocent buyers. But where did the soldier go?

Well, he has holed himself up in a dark room with a person who has the answers everyone seeks. He discovers that the dust devil had carried the infection and had turned the fighters into normal humans. That’s right! Zombies rule the world and the small group is actually the infected beings who no longer remember their past zombie lives. They are the diseased ones, and the zombies are trying to kill the group to stop them from destroying their peaceful zombie society.

This dream mercifully ends.
Okay. One more because I am having too much fun torturing you with this. I will tell you a dream from my childhood . . .

Tornados. Yes, I had MANY DREAMS ABOUT TORNADOS! No, this was before they made the movie "Tornado" featuring Helen Hunt. This particular one was a recurring dream. Simply put, five tornados rip across the farmland downing trees and power lines and planes from the sky with my brother trapped in the barn. Tornados move in a seek-and-destroy mission trying to get at me. There was a gray tornado, a white tornado, a baby tornado that could slip through keyholes and under doors, an invisible tornado, and the granddaddy of all tornados - the black tornado that could shoot fireballs.

More dreams to come . . .


  1. You should keep a recorder on your nightstand to record what's going on in that overly creative head of yours! lol But then again it looks like you've remembered every detail without any help!

    The evil Martha Stewart, ha!

    And tornados...The Wizard of Oz educated a whole generation of people about the dangers of a funnel picking up a house and dropping it somewhere unreal. I've had a few nightmares about tornados myself since then. But at least mine don't shoot fireballs! lol

    Your stories are always so entertaining!

    Hope you're having a good weekend, Michelle! :)

  2. I have a pretty good memory to not need a recorder. Besides, my voice sounds horrible when recorded - like a mouse on steriods with its tail being chewed on by a cat. I do jot down little quickies in a notepad now and then.

    Note: The movie I should have said was "Twister." I could not for the life of me remember the name of it.

    I'm sure your weekend was better than mine. But I'm hanging in there one day at a time.

  3. You wanna come hang with Ms. Spider? :)

    It's funny how I hear so many people say that they don't like to hear their voice on a recorder. When I worked at my daughter's school in the office, sometimes I had to announce info on the intercom. The first time I did, one of the first grade teachers came running into the office (her class was right across from us) and rather rudely or least that's what I thought at the time and said... "Who was that?! Who was that?!" Well, I immediately froze thinking I must have sounded horrible! When I slowly raised my hand, she said "My god! You should be on the radio, your voice is fantastic!" I tend to blush when anyone compliments me, so I just kinda smiled, ducked my head and went on working. Anyway, I know this is getting long. lol But the point is, I always thought my voice sounded terrible recorded. So I know you can't sound as bad as you think you do and certainly not like a mouse on steroids Michelle. lol

    Can't you tell I've got a little bit of time on my hands with this comment? I’m taking a break on trying to figure out how we can cut down on spending so much money on gas. We’re in the landscaping business and I swear it’s like paying another house payment every month! You think that creative brain of yours can help me come up with a solution? :)

  4. I'll just watch Ms. Spider from a distance, although I'm still jealous of her man.

    Creative solution to the gas crisis? Um...teach the plants to hitchhike to the locations. Heck! How should I know? If I could figure that out, then that would make a great bestseller novel!

    Oh, Sandra. You can bring a smile to any gloomy gus. Even me.

  5. In the middle of all that chaos, a grandmother flying a helicopter crashes while trying to save her infected granddaughter? I'm still laughing over THAT one!

    I agree with Sandra...your stories are always SO entertaining. So keep entertaining us, Michelle.

  6. Brenda: Yeah, that grandmother was something! It has to be the clearest image I still have of that dream...which I had maybe a month ago. I can even still see those helicopter blades whirling.

  7. Hee-hee! Love that troll, Chris!

    Yes, maybe that is why I'll lay in bed in the morning thinking about all the dreams. Exhaustive dreams every night wears a person down! I could use some real shut-eye!


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