Thursday, December 3, 2009

Love Affair

It started as a tiny little thing. We would meet in the mornings, in front of the mirror as I still had my bathrobe on. It was just once a day, a little peck on the chin. Then it happened more frequently. I waited with anticipation while watching the two lips near. They skipped down, coolness against my warm skin, caressing at certain spots. Then the lips pressed together and lifted, as I experienced the brief moment of loss, of separation, like the tiniest pinpricks of pain.

Yet, despite the pain, I came back for more.

It took time away from my daily schedule. I would brush fingers across my chin in remembrance. Then my will power would weaken. I dashed into the bedroom for our meeting. Always there for me, always eager to please, never turning me down for what I desire.

The cool lips. The pressure. The joy.

What more could I have ever asked for? This affair doesn’t require much from me. I don’t have to put on any airs. I don’t have to impress anyone. It doesn’t matter if I’m wearing baggy sweat clothes, a tight dress, or nothing at all.

All the other one wants from me are a mirror and a waiting chin.

I have become obsessed with a secret affair. I have become obsessed with my secret lover and must tell the world how I feel. I must show the world who my lover is and how they fulfil me.

It’s a woman’s greatest dread (unless you’re part of a carny freak show) to look into a mirror and see a straggly goatee forming on your chin. The urge to pluck . . . pluck . . . pluck . . . those hairs is irresistible. And my tweezers always meet me with kissing lips.

My secret lover.


  1. You must have written this for all the rest of us chin pamperers.

  2. Ah, pleasure and pain - two sides of the same coin, sometimes.

  3. I'm not a woman but it would take me weeks to pluck the hairs from my chin.

  4. You're such a tease.. I mean tweeze! ;)

  5. Judith: Not really. I wrote this while plucking my chin hairs and thinking, "Oh crap! I need to make another blog posting this week."

    Suldog: Yes, sometimes the two things are inseparable.

    Travis: I wouldn't recommend it with you.

    Hilary: Ha! you're always good for some fun... I mean pun. :-)

  6. Loved this one Michelle !! I can sooooo relate to it. :o)

    ~ Ruth ~

  7. Okay, now I know there's something wrong with you. A post about being in love with tweezers. Wow. Words escape me.

    Heh heh, just kidding. This was pretty inventive to say the least.

  8. R&G: See! I'm not the only person going through this.

    Eric: Inventive, or desperate to think up something to post? Oh, how the line is blurred...

  9. Bwwwaaaahhhaaa! I thought this was serious. Girl, you are too funny. :-D

  10. DH: Me? Serious? HA! Not here, or at least not usually.

  11. lol. thanks for the chuckle this morning...and congrats on the POTW mention!

  12. Brian: Thanks! And thanks for stopping by!

  13. OMG! I laughed, I cried, I peed! Wonderful post...congratulations on Hilary's Post of the Week!!! Loved this...

  14. That was awesome! LoL! I couldn't help but chuckle when I realized you were talking about tweezers! :) Great post!

  15. This was a wonderfully hilarious twist in the tale!

  16. Sandi Mcbride: I didn't know my post created so many emotions! LOL! Thanks for stopping by!

    Meeko Fabulous: Thanks! I love doing the twist endings. It's my calling card. Thanks for stopping by.

    Ladyfi: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

  17. oh how well i understand this ritual and the affair!

  18. Lime: I'm not the only one? Why that two-timing worthless piece of metal! When I get me hands on him...

  19. Over from Hilary.

    My friend was just commenting on this exact thing! Pretty sure the two of you share the very same lover. :-)

  20. Ah, there is nothing like laughter born in sheer empathy!

    I swear to you, I nearly wrote a post about how tweezer's were the greatest invention since the wheel, just last week, and why?

    Yup, the dreaded chin hairs. I know I don't even have it all that bad, or as my MIL told me, "Oh just wait until after menopause!"


    Wonderful, funny and easy to relate to. Congratulations on the POTW.

  21. TSannie: My tweezers is such a two-timing cheat. I'm finding out he's going around seeing everyone. Lol! Thanks for stopping by.

    Land of Shrimp: Wait until after I hit menopause? But... I'm dealing with it NOW?!? Oh, I knew I should have taken that carney gig and grown the beard out. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

  22. You made me laugh!!
    my eyesight is so blurry lately that I live in fear of missing the chin hair
    and one giant one that springs out of my neck like a Greek god

    I spend a lot of time feeling around for them

    thanks for making me feel less alone!!

    congrats on POTW

  23. Too funny....congrats on POTW mention! Thanks for the smile!

  24. Dianne: OMG! Those dreaded neck hairs right under the chin. Hate them so much especially when they grow out and curl. *shudder* Thanks for stopping by!

    smiles4u: Glad I could brighten your day. Thanks for stopping by!

  25. Yes, I know! Congrats on POTW mention.


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