Tuesday, February 24, 2009


It has happened. How could I not have foreseen this? With the bludgeoning against my poor synapses, the memory threads were bound to give way. The knowledge database has blown a fuse. My mental librarian has locked herself in the bathroom and is crying into the sink.

The Internet has given me too many passwords. Like any overloaded transducer, the bright pops of memory lapses and the sizzling hair roots were the warning signs that something bad had gone down last night. As I had lain there in bed, my nose sniffing at the frying smell, I decided to search the Web for a good hair weave when I realized there was a gap in my memory. I have gaps where I should find letters, symbols, and numbers in funky combinations to confuse any phishers or hackers trying to get into my various online accounts.

I have forgotten those passwords, which is leaving me confused.

This is sickening at the boundless level of Internet inanity. How many passwords are we supposed to remember?! I counted the number I have: a staggering 16 passwords. 16! I have passwords to my laptop, passwords to the Internet, passwords to email, passwords to shop . . . passwords, passwords, PASSWORDS!

I feel the need to send my mental librarian a lifetime supply of Kleenex.

Out of the 16 passwords, I have forgotten 5 - and one special password needed in everyday life. I have put them into different color categories depending upon how important the passwords are to me.

Orange: Mild annoyance - I probably don’t even visit the site any more. So there is no big loss.

Green: Irritated - It would be nice to remember, but I’m not going to jump off a building because I forgot it.

Red: Mad - I feel something thrumming erratically in my chest. MUST. REACH. PHONE. TO. CALL. FOR. HEL . . .

Blue: Dire - Nurse! We are losing the patient. Defibrillate the heart. STAT!

Purple: Bad, oh so bad! - Attention Readers, we have discovered an asteroid the size of Antarctica is on a direct course for Earth. Please put all your affairs in order and kiss your butt goodbye.
Password number 1: I don’t even remember the name of the website for the forgotten password. Yeah, I can hear my readers laughing.

Password number 2: I remember the name of the website for this one. Yay! Yet every time I tell myself to go there to retrieve the password, I push the thought aside. No big deal because I know there are other Web pages with the same information that I DON’T NEED A PASSWORD FOR - ironic.

Password number 3: I would like to remember this one, especially since I just signed up for it. The website has important information. I’ll try to find the password.

Password number 4: Hee-hee! This is interesting. While remembering this one would be extremely important, I also find it convenient that I had forgotten the password. This one has to do with paying my TAXES. Hey . . . if the IRS decides to audit me, can’t I just claim the Internet ate my homework - er- password?

Password number 5: No joking on this. I forgot the password to my online bank. Downside is that I can’t get in to check my account information. The upside is that if I can’t even figure out the stupid thing, then neither will any hackers. My account is secure, even from me.

Special password: Don’t laugh! Please don’t laugh. But . . . um . . . while filling my noggin with all these Internet nuisances, it seems that I have forgotten the PIN number for my bank card.

I know that last one is bad.
Edit to add: I just got another password. I have officially joined Facebook. I must be a glutton for punishment.


  1. This is a magical post, with which EVERYBODY must identify - unless they are numerical wizards of the highest order who remember via fiendish secret codes...

  2. LOL
    Yep, been there, did that, got the T-shirt! I would not like to tell you what the T-shirt says, it will probably upset you even more. I dare not wear it.
    Blackouts where pincodes were needed have occured numerous times *sigh*
    Good luck. At least you are not alone in this if that will cheer you up.

  3. Oh, I feel you. I'm laughing, but so in sympathy. I have forgotten my PIN as well...so bad. But I'm just not good with numbers.

  4. I only have a few secret numbers, so not too many problems so far...but hear ya on the general forgetting of important things.

    Um.....don't you write them down somewhere, or did ya hide that from yourself? :) Hugs for your bad day. Loved this post.

  5. Sorry, Michelle, I laughed at the last one...but it was the laugh that is only enjoyed by someone who has "been there, done that".

    Only I took the forgotten PIN one step further. Convinced that I could remember it, I kept entering different number combinations. I learned, too late, that the third failed attempt yields the result of the ATM machine assuming ownership of the card, never for to be seen again. Not only no PIN, but now, no card, no cash, and most importantly, no lunch that day.

    I find that it isn't so much the forgotten passwords that is the problem, but the fact that I either can't remember the answer to the "secret" question, or which e-mail address I used when I signed up.

  6. Jinksy: Fiendish secret codes? Curse you, numerical wizards! They must have schemed to create such mayhem.

    Carolina: Don't tell me about the t-shirt. I'm afraid I'll lose it somewhere.

    Natalie: If you say the laugh is sympathetic, I'll believe you. But the finger pointing and snickers have me doubtful. lol! The weird thing is that I am really good at remembering passwords. Most I don't have to write down.

    Angie: I sometimes write them down but not often enough. A bad habit I need to break out of. I keep the ones I do have in my safe, but it's such a hassle to open and close it for the passwords, especially if I forget where I hid the safe key.

    Buckskins Rule: I feel for you about the card-eating atm. I had one malfunction on me and ate my card and the $30 dollars I tried to take out. Since I had no proof I had tried to take out the money, not only did I have to pay the $10 for a new card, but I also was out the $30.

  7. I just love coming here!! You truly are a gifted writer!! I do understand your annoyance with passwords.. way too many things to have passwords these days.. at least you make the effort to create unique passwords for everything..I usually use the same one for multiple things which is bad I agree because if for any reason anyone finds out my password for one thing..well..just bad.

    This was such a great diversion from work at the moment. ha.

  8. Hehe, Michelle, you have found a perfect way of how to save money.;))
    But, joke aside, I know this must be very irritating. I always write down the numbers somewhere (not safe, I know), as I tend to forget numbers as well.
    Hope it will come back to you.;))

  9. I try to keep the passwords as close to the same as possible. Too much information in my head is a dangerous thing.

  10. Passwords are the text version of lot keys.. or worse.. key chains full of keys whose use we no longer remember.

  11. ever hear of keeping all that crap in a pad, written in invisible ink? :O lol

    of course, the blacklight bulb would be a dead giveaway ;)

  12. Fancypants: I hate to say this, but you do need unique passwords. My blog got hacked awhile back because the password was too easy to figure out. I don't want the same thing happening to yours.

    Protege: With all the things we need passwords for, writing them down is becoming a necessity. I just wish the world was a safer place where we didn't need such things.

    Oren: Be careful about that. Like I mentioned in my comment to Fancypants, once someone figures out one password, they can really cause trouble.

    Hilary: Good analogy! If I may go one more step with it, they are like keys we stow away in a drawer, then toss out the furniture and forget the key was in there.

    laughingwolf: With the way things are going, I probably forget which pad I wrote the invisible ink on.

  13. I'm laughing, Michelle. I just can't HELP it! After getting as mad as hell each time I forgot a password, I now list them in a small memo book. (Well...most of the time!)

  14. Oh, Lord, Michelle, that's why I use one of two passwords for everything. And the first one is just the second one backwards.

  15. Brenda: I should use a notebook and put it in my safe. But i'm such a doofus I still probably lose the safe key.

    Suldog: I must have a too overactive imagination. For some reason I have to come up with unique passwords. My failing in the end.


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