My Comeback Post... or... guess who got tagged with a meme?

(snagged photo from this site. It seemed appropriate for what's coming.)

If you guessed me as the person in the post title, you would only be partially right. I actual got tagged with TWO memes. And guess what? It's the same meme. And guess what else? I got tagged on the same day.

Yeah, cruel. I know.

Both of these wonderful people (and you can see I only put links on the words "these" and "people" since I know readers like to skim blog posts and will never see the "wonderful" bit, which gives this meme a whole new meaning), tagged me with the... see! You know the meme has to be pure evil when nobody gives it an actual name. It's like when hearing a doorbell and seeing the flaming bag of dog poop sitting on the welcome mat. You know what's inside it but you have to stomp on the bag anyway out of pure instinct.

This cruel and unusual meme forces you to do something you might not be inclined to do but can't help yourself.

I'll do this in reverse and answer the questions from the second person who tagged me who was tagged from someone else who tagged us both at the same time. If that made sense to you, good for you! If it didn't, I just took a little bit of your soul and sanity. That's the way my evil works.

So, Matt Colon's questions... answered.

1 - What's better advice for a kid. "Always look both ways before talking candy from strangers" or "when crossing the street, stop, drop, and roll"?

Definitely the "stop, drop, and roll" part. With them convulsing in the sidewalk, it makes carjackings so much easier than using guns. Cuts down on the violence.

2 - If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Vegetarians. DUH!

3 - and Unitarians?

Bi-tarians

4 - and Presbyterians?

First Ladies. That's almost a dirty joke.

5 - Do you think the fact that Underdog is no longer aired is due to fact that he would only gain his super powers after taking a pill, and people believe that promotes use of drugs, or because Garfield master minded a hostile take over of Underdog's time slot?

Don't you realize it's a whole cartoon conspiracy. Felix the cat, disguised as Garfield, orchestrated the whole plan. That's why he's getting 10 to 12 in the state pen. Underdog is laughing while cashing in the lawsuit riches at the Betty Ford clinic.

6 - If you could choose one song to play loudly to announce your presence every time you entered a room, what would it be?

Anything by White Snake. While people are screaming and clutching their bleeding ears, it makes it easier to carjack them.

7 - What famous actor / actress would you cast as yourself in the motion picture?

Which motion picture and why wouldn't I star in it myself?

8 - Cake or Pie?

That's for the guy to decide, isn't it? Both are easy applications on the body...
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Well, now that I got that nonsense out of the way. Oh, yeah. I have ANOTHER meme to do. I know you can sense the excitement in my voice, if this blog could actually speak. One more set of questions by a certain gentleman. Some of you know him as Suldog. Others know him as Jim Sullivan. A few of you know I call him MLGF (ask him what it means). This is his mugshot.

See, I used this photo because he's trying to quit smoking. A worthy endeavor. I gave my support and he goes and gives me a meme to do. Some friendship we have.

1 - You have a choice. You can have your nose replaced with a second set of your genitals, or you can have your genitals replaced with a second nose. Which would you choose, and why?

Yeah, uh-huh. This is a hidden butt joke, hence the photo. NOW you know how this man's mind works. 

2 - Do you think I give a tinker's damn?


Depends on what the tinker is tinkering with right now. If it has to do with the first question, I think we would all hear him say "damn" with either result.

3 - If you suddenly found yourself transformed into a cockroach, would you step on yourself?

Only if I'm double-jointed.

4 - If fuschia was a smell, and avocados were polar bears, why not Toronto?

Because Toronto shouldn't have to deal with double-jointed cockroaches tinkering with double pairs of things there shouldn't be double pairs of. They already have to deal with a bad hockey team. Why increase their misery?

5 - Does the fact that Deep Purple isn't in the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame piss you off? How about the fact that Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers ARE in there? I mean, come on, not a bad singing group, but that's like putting Eddie Brinkman in Cooperstown.

I'm more angry that Power Line/Live Wire isn't in there.

6 - If you were Eddie Brinkman, would you be pissed off now?


That people like me don't know who he is... and might feel question two applies in this instance. Yes.

7 - Artichokes or Hand Grenades?


This feels like another dirty question. I'll pick artichokes simply because it seems like the least painful way to croak.

8 - What's that smell?

I don't know. I'm merely a cockroach choking on an artichoke while trying to stomp on myself.
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The meme is over and I hear clapping, mainly from me. I'm suppose to come up with 8 questions and pass it on to 8 people, which technically I need 16 questions for 16 people. But since this would probably crash the blogosphere server with such mindless antics, I'll only come up with the eight.

1: If cats were dogs and dogs were cats, which would make a good peanut brittle?

2: If you could come up with one way to save humanity from alien forces, but it meant killing off the opposite sex, would you let your spouse push the button?

3: If you could pick one season to have year-round, how many M&M's would you hold between your toes?

4: If there was one sports team you would play for, who would you replace on the team and who would you have as a bodyguard when the player takes out a contract on your head?

5: Bear or deer? Which would you rather dine on?

6: So you have a billion dollars inherited by a rich, long-lost aunt who recently passed away. Would you pay off the judge, the lawyer, or the cops for the suspected crime?

7: What musical instrument have you ever had the urge to play?

8: What is the one movie you would be the director for and what scene would you drastically change?

Those are my eight questions. Here are my eight people who are tagged.

1: Matt Conlon
2: Jim Sullivan
3: Mr. Conlon
4: The Flaming Jimi LaRue
5: The person with this "]v[" as part of his blog title.
6: The person who posts this on his blog and he knows how I feel about the smaller kind.
7: Matt
8: Suldog

Have fun guys!