Do Not Worship The Groundhog!!
This is I, Overlord Jaq, with a simple command to the humans under my reign. Do not worship this strange large rodent tomorrow. There are much worthier causes for you to celebrate. For tomorrow will be the 1-year anniversary of my arrival here on your planet, as my mommy calls it, "My First Birthday."
I do not understand this thing called "Groundhog's Day" that you wish to celebrate on My First Birthday. What does the ground hog have to offer you? A foretelling of the weather? Pshaw! How can this giant rodent tell you of the coming weather with more accuracy than what your human weather forecasters tell you? Has the rodent taken meteorology classes? Has it graduated with a degree? This "supposed" mystical creature has the power to tell you whether Spring is coming early, which --last time I checked -- Spring is an unmovable seasonal event of the Earth.
Never worship something you can't slather in barbecue sauce. That is my decree. Just look at the thing. I'm waaaayyy cuter.
So I ask of you. Instead of donning on your groundhog headgear, take up your arms and follow my rule of this world. I shall not disappoint you with strange weather forecasts or chew on your furniture like the large "mystical" rodent. At least, I won't chew on it much before mommy stops me. I'm still getting all my baby teeth in.