Recently, I needed to get some official papers from an official government-run facility.
Yeah. You’re expecting the worse too, aren’t you?
And I shouldn’t say it was recent. I’ve been trying to do this since March. Without going into any details concerning the nature of the business, I needed to prove my current address to them by regular snail mail. It sounds simple, right? Well, I sent it out (two different documents of proof) to this facility and to a second one who needed the same. The second place accepted the documents.
The first place did not.
Why? “Illegible Proof of Zip Code.”
Why didn’t they tell me this in the first letter denying me the official papers? I don’t know. Why didn’t they say this in the second letter denying me the official papers? Maybe someone was on a lunch break and forgot. I had to EMAIL them, without proving who I was, to find out.
You’re laughing at the irony. So am I.
So what was the real problem? One of my documents was a photocopy of my driver’s license. Right now, I want everyone to take out their driver’s license and look at it. Look at where your address is on it. On my Pennsylvania driver’s license, the last digits of the zip code run over the miniature photo of me.
Hold on. Why are there two photos on the license to begin with? We have a large one and an itty-bitty one. To what end? I mean, really, a large drunk picture of me with bloodshot eyes and the fake beard is proof enough for the cop to bust me for driving too fast in my Amish cart without needing the small picture.
Anyway, the last two numbers on the zip code are right on my face and hair. See the problem? You don’t? Sigh . . .
When you do a black photocopy of a black person with black numbers over their black face, everything comes out yellow with purple dots.
I didn’t notice it the first time. I didn’t notice it the second time. The third time had me shaking my head at the goofiness of the situation.
In this technological world where a person can go online to do background/criminal checks on their neighbors, pull up satellite photos of them skinny dipping in their pool, and find out their miniature poodle flunked out of dog obedience class for mauling a pit bull, we can’t get a clear photocopy of a black person so the zip code appears.
I hate my life.
Note: I just realized something. If they sent out TWO LETTERS using the zip code I provided them, then doesn’t that mean that they CAN READ THE ZIP CODE???
Don't hate your life! You just got to laugh at thi stuff or it'll kill you!
ReplyDeleteBeing a govt worker, I just have to laugh. Outside my cubicle, it reads "Where Hope Goes To Die". So I sympathize with your plight.
ReplyDeleteAnita: I ran through the whole gamut of emotions: laughter, tears, anger, more tears. HAHA!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and commenting!
Eric: Oh, you have got to be joking. "Where Hope goes to Die"? That doesn't inspire confidence in me.
Really, I sympathize with you. You are in the line of work that receives the most flack from ordinary Joes, er, Janes like me every day. And still you can smile and take it in stride. My hats off to workers in the government profession, so long as they aren't skimming off the top to take their private jets somewhere tropical.
Those racist Xerox bastards!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that they sent you the notices using your zip code is hilarious. You'd think someone would say, "Hey, why don't we just check here records in the computer?"
Government officials suck. Well, except for Theresa, she's okay.
There is NOTHING in life worse than dealing with The Bureaucracy... any bureaucracy, actually... but the Gub'mint kind is the most unfathomable, intractable, senseless... ah, you get the point. A pox on them.
ReplyDeleteWell I looked at my license and sure enough there are two photos. I wonder why I never noticed that before. Duh! I can’t imagine what purpose that itty-bitty picture serves.
ReplyDeleteHang in there Michelle I'm sure you'll get 'em straightened out.
Ruth
Ah, bureaucracy at its finest. And it doesn't make any more sense when you work for the government...trust me I know. This blog was great. I'm still laughing. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteChris: I rather wonder why they can't just go to the post office website and type in the dang address. Presto! Instant zip code!
ReplyDeleteOMG! Are you saying that Xerox is in cahoots with the government to cause mass mayhem by zip code refusal? It all makes sense now. Area 51. Roswell. Rush Limbaugh. Diet Coke. Conspiracies galore!
Buck: Ah, I look at it this way. Any corporation is set for mass destruction the larger they become, because no one can handle so many tasks or keep tabs on so many people. And the government is the largest corporation in the world. Pretty understandable how some people can fall through the cracks.
Ruth: I wonder if it is only PA licenses are like that or if the problem is with other states? You would think if they need the small picture there, then why don't they make the address smaller so it is readable? What a strange world!
Theresa: Hey, this blog sets out to find the funny in everything, mostly at the person who operates it because she is a real loon. Um, wait. That last sentence didn't come out right...
Hey, move down here to LA! Our license info. is clear, no matter what shade you are. :)
ReplyDeleteAaaaaaagggggghhhhhh! The next time something like this happens, tell ME first and I'll come down to your neck of the woods and beat someone up. It might not be the people you need to have beaten up, but it will make ME feel better.
ReplyDeleteAngie: If I have no better reason to move, it would be because of this. Haha!
ReplyDeleteSuldog: Whoa! Someone just got off the Novocaine and is fired up! No need for physical violence.... Haha! Who am I kidding? There are a few people... no. I'll be nice.
Still...
Now that is funny -frustrating yes, but funny too! I would point that out to them in any further communications as well. Maybe when they wrote to you, saying the zip code was illegible, they looked up the zip in the big postal zip code directory that even most businesses have in their possession so surely a govt. agency would have one too! Typical though of a governmental type of snafu, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteJeni: And it doesn't make sense considering I sent them 2 documents of proof. Someone is getting my goat big time on this.
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, I have found the folks who work at the RMV very helpful. Must be some sort of reverse Karma thing.
ReplyDeletethey're just rattling your bars cuz they can, michelle... the civil service is far from grrrrrrr
ReplyDeleteRemember, when dealing with any gub'mint agency, set your sights low. That way you will only be mildly disappointed.
ReplyDeleteI truly believe that this happens because they find it easier to use delaying tactics than to just get the business taken care of.
Maybe it's some strange form of job security.
You have to wonder how effectively these folks do their job when it's easier for them to go through the whole "return/rejected" route than to check the envelope it came in, or will be returned to. Argh!
ReplyDeleteEndangered coffee: My karma has never been good. Reversed would be a welcome change for me.
ReplyDeletelaughingwolf: I know they are, but they are messing with the wrong person. I need these documents, and they are contradicting themselves on every point. If I have to take legal action, I will...
Buckskins: I always give them enough time. But it's almost two months with their stalling tactics. Enough is enough...
Hilary: I didn't get that either. Obviously the address exists if I have been corresponding with them on two other occasions. They can't reject me over a zip code. It's plain stupid.
Reminds me of when my husband needed to change his address for his pension. We had just moved, so he called to change it. They said, "We can't do it over the phone. What is your address so we can send you the form."
ReplyDeleteAll you can do is laugh. :)
Joan: Haha! That is ironic! Thanks for stopping by, and giving me a giggle to boot!
ReplyDeleteMy most profound simpathies to you, I'm dealing with the senslessness of The Building Code right now; It's not unlike these bureaucrates your dealing with, no sense or reason.
ReplyDeleteGood luck trying to get past those guys!
Skyeblu: Good luck to you! Sometimes, the government makes me scratch my head in wonder...
ReplyDelete