As Jack Nicholson said in Stephen King’s movie "The Shining," Here’s Johnny!
Well, heeeerrrreeee’s Michelle!
I’m back and raring to blog! My time off was a killer (hee-hee) and I had the opportunity to think up a few new stories I’ll be posting at the beginning of May. As the above title describes, I’m going to be writing about some boneheaded things I did when I was a kid - a miniseries for your reading enjoyment. Here is the breakdown of titles you will be seeing in the next several weeks:
1. Rabies? That’s a myth.
2. Bullfighting 101: How to tick off the big mean boar.
3. Muwahaha! I am the stalker of innocent woodland creatures.
4. Apple-hurling, the new Olympic sport.
5. A prank gone horribly wrong - the big mean boar’s revenge: Part 2.
6. His stinger was bigger than my stick.
7. Bats and butterfly nets.
8. Electric fences are our friends . . . ZZZZZTTT!
9. Smoke bombs and beehives. Water hoses and beehives. Oh, the heck with it! Just torch the sucker!
10. Using beer bottles for rocket launchers. Yes, we made sure the bottles were (hiccup) empty.
Before you say anything, I realize many of the stories are about animals. But I grew up on a five-acre farm in the middle of rural USA, so what else would you expect? Besides, these are the stories that I can LEGALLY post. Okay, I did throw in one (or two) which isn’t legal but . . . shhhh . . . don’t tell anyone.
Anyway, I will be posting the stories about twice a week - gasp, I must have a fever to be posting so much. But hold on to your reading hats! I’m actually going to TELL YOU which days I’ll be posting - nurse, get me the defibrillator. Stat! Is your heart beating normally now? All right. I will post on Sundays and Thursdays starting on May 4. This makes a month and a week, and I didn’t even have to count my toes to figure it out. Yippee!
Ready, folks? LET’S GET IT ON!
Disclaimer: Although I don’t believe I have any juveniles reading this blog, I will make the following statement anyway. Do not be so stupid as to try any of this at home, kiddies! DON’T DO IT! I had to be out of my goober mind to pull off some of these stunts. I was a really bored kid who got away with a whole lot of crap. JUST DON’T TRY IT!
You’ve been warned . . .