Oh, the madness we can create with our posts. And spreading it around is actually legal. I love this Internet world.

I have just noticed something. Things have changed for me. I mean . . . as in my writing. I looked at my previous posts when I first started this blog and noticed that my writing there seems like a farce. I suppose the more we work at something important (whatever it might be) the more we improve. Hmm. Let us all take a moment to think about this. Why don’t you take a couple of days and come back to tell me what it is that has improved in your lives?

What? No! No way! I’m not trying to get you to leave for a reason. I am prepared with a story for today. Why would you think such a . . . OKAY! Yes, I am babbling with this post. I forgot to make one for today and I am steaming the old noggin trying to come up with something to say. Jeez! I admit it. Are you people happy now?

You’re not? Why? You want a story? You want a quip? You want something entertaining forcing you to come back here day end and day out just so you can laugh at the computer screen and say, “Boy, that Michelle sure is a nut. I’m glad I’m not like her.”

Sniff-sniff. Now see? You hurt my feelings. There isn’t anything left for me to do except go try to cheer myself up by listening to my theme song. Yes. I have a theme song for my blog. Don’t you? What?! You don’t? Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone needs a theme song! It doesn’t necessarily have to do with anything about your blog. It just needs to be a song that helps you relax while typing in a post. If you are not good at making something up, it can be a real song. You want to know the lyrics of my song? No?

Sniff-sniff . . . is that a tear sliding down the side of my nose? And now you forced me to pout out my lips. Huh? What did you say? You want to know my theme song now? Ha! I knew I could make you cave in. Here is my theme song. I hope I got all of the lyrics written down right. It is from a real band in case you want to buy the CD.
*************
Rehabs’ Bartender Song

Bartender, I really did it this time.
Broke my parole to have a good time.
When I got home, it was 6am.
The door was locked so I kicked it in.

She was tripping on the bills.
I think she was high on some pills.
She threw my things out into the yard.
Then she called me a bum and slapped me real hard

And in my drunken stupor I did what I should’ve never done.
Now I’m sitting here, talking to you, drunk and on the run.

I’m sitting at a bar on the inside,
waiting for my ride on the outside.
She stole my heart in the trailer park.
So I jacked the keys to her father’s car,
and crashed that Chevrolet
and then stepped away.
***************
Yanno, Moe, I’ll probably get ten years
so just give me beers til they get here.
Yeah, I know the sun is coming up
and ya’ll are probably getting ready for closing up.

But I’m trying to drown my soul.
I’m tired of this life on a dirt road.
And everything that I love is gone,
and I’m tired of hanging on.

She’s got me sitting at a bar on the inside
waiting for my ride on the outside.
She stole my heart in the trailer park.
So I jacked the keys to her father’s car,
and crashed that Chevrolet
and then stepped away.
*****************
Guess it was meant to be,
romance is misery,
so much for memories
and now I’m headed to the penitentiary.
See me on tv ,
the next cop series.
I am a danger.
I guess should have did something about my anger.

But I’ll never learn.
Real things I don’t concern.
I pour kerosene on everything I love and watch it burn.
I know it’s my fault
but I wasn’t happy it was over.
She threw a fit so I crashed her daddy’s Nova.

And now I’m going back again,
back to the pen of C, my friend.
And where we all pile out that county van,
they’re gonna ask me where I’ve been.

I’ve been at a bar on the inside,
while waiting for my ride on the outside.
She stole my heart in the trailer park.
So I jacked the keys to her father’s car,
and crashed that Chevrolet
and then stepped away.
*********************