Thursday, October 9, 2008

WOW! Who knew?

I got up this morning, poured myself a nice cold glass of strawberry and kiwi juice, and opened my gmail account to see what viagra product I’m being spammed about today. Sitting there, all large and in dark type, was this message:

WOW! Women On Writing Summer 08 Flash Fiction Contest Update

Huh? It didn’t look like spam. A hazy memory came to me about a contest back in August. I had written something about comedians and headless chickens and scary reapers who are psycho fans of their idols. I clicked on the email . . .

Well, that is a pretty picture to see in the Fall. Did you know that flamingos get their pink color from the pink shrimp they eat? I so love shrimp, one of my all-time favorite seafood. Fix it any way you like and I will eat it, even the coconut-breaded shrimp and I hate coconuts.

Um . . . where was I? Oh, yes. The email. Well, after I got past the pretty picture I actually read the words thinking the viagra people must have stooped to a new low in getting me to buy their product by making me think of shrimp and how that word should never be used toward a guy’s certain body part. Oh, besides the fact that I AM NOT A GUY! Yes, I realize the name "Michelle" can be considered a man’s name in other countries. But, rest assured viagra people, I AM NOT A GUY!

Okay . . . okay . . . the email message:

Dear Michelle,
You’ve successfully made it through First Round Judging in the WOW! Summer 2008 Flash Fiction Contest. Your entry has officially been given the thumbs-up, and you’re well on your way!

Hee-hee! Look at that! I made it through the first round judging over my scary story, "Curse of the Serial Headless Chicken Reaper!" I never thought I would get this far. I figured the contest judges’ restraining orders had been finalized against me. My eyes skim down to MY CONTEST SCHEDULE (hee-hee) to find out that the guest judge will be submitting her choice for the top 10 entries by the third week of October. She might get them out sooner.

Well, nothing more for me to do then sit back and . . . hold up. What’s this?

If you are among the top 10, we will ask you to submit a brief bio & picture.


Ummm . . . bio? Picture? Gulp! I *shaky sigh* hate getting my picture taken. And I don’t know a thing about writing a bio of myself.


Ouch! I must have smacked my head on the table. I’m all right. I just have a little knot on my head. *another shaky sigh* I guess I’ll have to come up with something about myself, maybe the story about the horny cow that tried to hump me or the time when my siblings swiped those construction signs because we wanted the pretty lights and we put them in the car and drove the 50 miles home with the yellow lights flashing as my mom took all the back roads.

Yeah, this bio thing should be easy to write . . . huh? Why are all of you laughing? You mean, that isn’t a bio? You mean, I have to write about myself, and just about myself with no surly humor?

GULP! *faint*


  1. wow is right... super grats and kudos to you, m'dear!

    a sure sign of things getting better for you in the coming year!

  2. Very cool! Definitely keep us posted on that. It's always nice to win, or even be close to winning, something.

  3. laughingwolf: Thank you kindly! I'm all aflutter with anticipation. (Not really - I am too much of a pessimist, but I can pretend to be aflutter because I like saying the word.)

    Natalie: I will. It will be the first time I won a writing contest. Oops! I probably jinxed myself for saying that.


  4. nah... just a woman gone through too many hard times... you'll be fine, wuffy sez so! :D

  5. Congrats on the good email news! Way cooler than more viagra spam. ;)

  6. The bio I can't help you with (unless you want it to be a tissue of lies) but I would suggest your lovely self-portrait for a picture.

  7. laughingwolf: If wuffy sez so, than it must be try. ;)

    Angie: Thanks for the kind words and stopping by! Really, ANYTHING is better than the viagra spam, although the lottery spam is starting to work a few nerves.

    Suldog: Now, now. Be nice. I don't want to burn any corneas with the sheer brilliance of my drawing. Or have them nail it to the wall and shoot darts at it. lol!

    And I don't mind the tissue of lies for the bio, so long as it doesn't involve our good doctor, Hugo Z. Quackenbush. Can't have him scaring the contest judge too much.

  8. WOW is right! Congratulations!

    And you doubted yourself... no more Michelle.

    Now do you believe us when we tell you that you have talent? That you are very talented!

    Your most rabid fan knew this all along. :)

  9. but of course it is, wuffs NEVER lie! :P

  10. Hey! Great Good News, this! Even the bio bits, which will give you (more) opportunity in the writing space, as well!

    Congrats, Michelle... you're most deserving.

  11. oh jeeze... not the bio mess! i have to figure out something too. maybe it would be easier if you wrote one for me (no facts necessary i shouldn't think... would just get in the way of a good story) and i wrote... nah. wouldn't work. can't reciprocate! my brain has gone on a new year's vacation a bit soon.

  12. Sandra: How could I have ever doubted my rabid fan? lol!

    laughingwolf: Again I am put in my place by the wolf. :}

    Buck: That is most exciting news, to get more writing credentials. But I have to make the top ten for my bio to appear in their syndicated newsletter. Thanks kindly for your encouragment.

    Chris: You have to write something too? We are in the same predicament, except my brain missed the new year boat. Drat! lol!

  13. not too bad of a place, i trust? :O lol

  14. laughingwolf: I would hope not. ;)

  15. Yay you! With your wit, you'll come up with a wonderful bio.. and why not surly? Best of luck.. I'll keep fingers crossed for you.. except when typing.

  16. Hilary: Thanks! Although I don't expect you to keep your fingers crossed while typing, you can always cross your toes. :)

  17. That would require dexterity...

  18. trust me, i'm a wuff... and a wuff NOSE best! :O lol

  19. Hilary: Well, it's better than trying to cross your eyes and type. ;)

    laughingwolf: You got your picture up. YAY!

  20. is that the same as the ol kermit: YAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??? :O lol


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