Sunday, January 25, 2009

I almost caught a werd imp!

OMG! It was the most incredible thing. I was using the nit comb and bug spray on the first two chapters of my new manuscript to get rid of all my grammar bugs when the little booger popped out of the white space between the sentences and made a break for the door.

*for those new readers of this blog, a werd imp is an evil creature who infiltrates a writer’s manuscript and plays games by creating grammar errors and plot holes (yes, the werd imps do this - not the writer.)*

So, what did I do when I saw the werd imp? Well, I did the only thing a sane person would do. I pinched my arm to make sure I was not dreaming. After I slapped myself for doing such a painful thing, I grabbed a flyswatter and chased the bug into the kitchen. I lost sight of it on the table as I searched through the condiments in the basket. Then I heard a glub-glub-glub.


Yes, I think the little werd imp had an untimely demise. He must have slipped through one of the tiny holes and drowned in the milk. Ewwww! So I chucked the breakfast out into the trash for today’s garbage pickup.

Later that afternoon, I was listening to the radio when an emergency broadcast came on. Supposedly, the milk had a strange effect on the werd imp, causing it to grow into a gigantic size. It now wrecked havoc down the highway. I logged online hoping to spot some video of the destruction. Unfortunately, the actual details were just too gruesome to post here. I did find an artist’s rendition of the scene. Ladies and gentlemen, please escort your younglings out of the room before looking upon this picture.
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Oops! I see little Johnny peeking around the corner. Will someone please give him some Legos to play with?
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Nasty werd imps!

14 comments:

  1. Cute!

    I'm not a writer, just a lowly blogger, but I embrace my werd imps and pretend that's just my style.

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  2. No wonder you had a headache(what's the current situation on that?), your mind works in very mysterious ways! Love it :-)
    (tried some HTML tags just for the fun of it and to find out what the a-one does)

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  3. Glad you got rid of one of the little boogers. However, from all of the little Johnny stories I have heard, you may want to get rid of him also. He is TROUBLE.
    Oren

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  4. That was a scary one, looks like some sort of a weird dinosaur mutant.;) Great story.;)
    Thanks for the good laugh.;)

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  5. That looks suspiciously like my shutter bug. They're all tricky little things.

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  6. Thank you! All this time I thought it was just me making daft mistakes!!!! I'll be calling my bug guy tomorrow :-)

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  7. Yikes! Need a much bigger comb and can o' spray. :)

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  8. Bella: And I do like your style! You have plenty of it.

    Kathryn: I knew I could make you laugh!

    Carolina: Hmm. I never thought to blame my headaches on my werd imps. I might just do that.

    Oren: Little Johnny stories? I never heard any of them. Are they really scary, and does Johnny need lots of timeouts?

    Protege: I just happened to stumble on the picture and I said to myself, "That is a werd imp." I had to make a story for it.

    Hilary: Oh no! Werd imps and shutterbugs co-conspiring to make a mutant race of super bugs that will take over the planet. I have another story in the making.

    Merry: No, it is definitely the werd imps causing the problems...at least this sounds good for our fragile egos.

    Angie: Nuke bombs might work best! Unfortunately, our manuscripts would suffer from such explosions.

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  9. You get an award, just for saying that!

    Kidding, there was one waiting for you on my blog already.

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  10. Well, all I can say is I'm awfully glad to know that, by keeping my weird imps totally intact in my stuff, and not unleashing them on the general public, I'm doing my bit for man(and woman)kind.

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  11. heh. You should know better than to feed 'em, Michelle. Inadvertently or other wise... ;-)

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  12. lol... next time, give it popcorn! :P

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  13. Did anyone notice that certain characters look like those actors in the show "Happy Days?"

    Bella: Thank you! I read your post in my reader yesterday. I'll stop on over when I get a free moment.

    Suldog: You are a brave man for keeping your nasty werd imps! You have my admiration - among other things...

    Buck: It was an accident. Honest! Don't tell THE MAN about it!

    laughingwolf: But popcorn might make them reproduce, like water did in those "Gremlins" movies.

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