Sunday, February 8, 2009

I am a chewer.

Okay, I admit it. I chew on things. Whenever I get to a difficult part in my writing or I am frazzled by everyday life, I chew on my fingernails. I have chewed them down to stubs. Occasionally, I have ripped off a bit too much and caused blood to form.

Yet this is not my worse chewing habit.

When I get deeply involved with a story, it makes me happy. If I am happy, I forget about my nails as they grow long and beautiful while making click-clack-click over the keyboard. Sounds like a good thing, right? Unfortunately, no.

Instead of chewing on my fingernails, I will chew on pens. No part of them is safe from my gnawing teeth. The ends. The caps. The middle. THE FRONTS. I have walked around with spots of ink on my lips because I had grabbed a pen without looking and shoved the wrong end into my mouth only to taste something yucky and realize the mistake. Even now, I have a pen in my mouth as if it were a fat Cuban cigar and I was taking in a nice lazy drag in satisfaction.

I have chipped teeth while pretending I am a beaver seeking nutrients from the forest of pens nestled inside my porcelain elephant pen holder.

I know I need to stop. Yet every time I try, I end up snacking on something while I am writing. This is even more distracting. My fingers get on funky. The crumbs are getting onto my keyboard to feed the dust bunnies lurking under the spacebar. And I don’t write as fast when only using one hand.

So which is worse? It is my overeating and gaining weight while not getting more writing done? Or is it chewing on a pen that I don’t have to hold, freeing my typing fingers to amuse everyone with my wacky stories while occasionally making funny designs on my lips?

Sigh. I need to go to the office supply store and buy more pens.

What bad habits do my readers have? Come tell me so we can share in the therapy bill.


  1. procrastination is my worse habit. that and a poor diet which has made me fat.

  2. Whatever helps you get through the task ahead is okay.

    I smoke. A lot.

  3. How about chewing gum(sugar free) to save your pens and pencils from desruction?
    And I'm with Travis on procrastination...

  4. I love sunflower seeds. (Just wish I could spit the shells on the floor. LOL) *Pass the ashtray, Bella*

  5. I really do not think chewing pens is that bad.;) Lots of writers do that.
    I really do not have a habit like that, except making weird faces when I concentrate, I guess, which gives me more wrinkles.
    However, I do agree with some of the others on the procrastination, now that is a bad habit of mine as well;))

  6. Junk food is my bad habit. That and not working to lose the weight. I know what works, but do not take the time to do it.

  7. Travis: I forgot about procrastination. It should be on my list too, like how I'm supposed to be working on my ms while checking my email umpteen times a day.

    Bella: It does help, but not whenI chipped the tooth once when I bit down on it wrong. Nice picture, btw.

    Jinksy: Gum doesn't work. I've gone through packs a day trying to break the habit. In fact, I think I switched over to the pens because of the gum habit.

    Angie: Sunflower seeds? Now that brings back memories. I can't remember the last time I had some. yum!

    Protege: I think we are all in the same boat when it comes to wasting time. We have to keep our chins up and plow on through.

    Oren: Have you tried the bowl of veggies to break from the junk food habit? Keeping one nearby is a great way to start!

  8. I used to be one of the worst pen-chewers ever. Not a cause for my teeth being bad, so far as I know, but once I got my implants, the configuration of my teeth/mouth changed a bit, and I stopped.

  9. Bad habits... will have to get back to you on that. Not that I don't have a ton... its just trying to figure out which is most socially acceptable!

    One thing that I have done that works is... substitue in another habit that isn't as bad. Cutting bad habits cold turkey is difficult. Then you can wean yourself slowly of the secondary habit.

    but chewing on plastic pen tops isn't bad, is it?

  10. Michelle... it appears someone has hacked your blog. I can't stay on the page long enough to read your latest post, I keep getting re-directed to "Black People Meet." Three times in a row, until I clicked on "comments," which stopped the madness. And allowed me to read the post, as well.

    re: Even now, I have a pen in my mouth as if it were a fat Cuban cigar and I was taking in a nice lazy drag in satisfaction.

    You have connections for Cuban cigars, maybe? ;-)

    Just thought I'd ask... and, apropos of your question -- "bad habits?" Moi? Heh... There's not enough time left in the world as we know it.

  11. Suldog: I don't know what it will take to stop. It seems as if I need to give my mouth something to do while typing.

    Chris: Be careful with the tops. I cracked on once and the piece of plastic poked my lip. Ow!

    Buck: I don't know what happened. Everything seems fine now, although I did have a problem with my browser when it accidently timed out. I'll keep an eye on things for the next several days.

    If I had connections for the cigars, I wouldn't have the pen chewing problem. lol! :-)

  12. Procrastination for sure.. but I'll tell you about it another time. ;)

  13. Mountain Dew. Never drank coffee, am trying to teach myself to drink green tea, but I cannot shake my love affair with Mountain Dew. (Although I have cut back considerably from my law school days when I routinely drank a six pack a day!)

    Your pen thing sounds pretty harmless right about now, right? :)

    Thanks, belatedly, for the award! Everyone has been sick at my house and I haven't had as much time to visit my favorite blogs.

  14. Hilary: Oh, don't leave me hanging for long.

    Jennifer: My brother was addicted to Mountain Dew when we were kids. He drank so much that he went of a sugar-bender and caused a ruckus at a mexican restaurant. Embarrassing! You're welcome for the award. I haven't had the chance to tell everyone. It's just been so busy! Hope everyone in your family gets well soon!

  15. so that's where your blue lips come from, michelle... and here i thunk twas from the cold :O lol

    i'd procrastinate too, but can't spell it... it involves sex, right? :P

  16. laughingwolf: Haha! I sure hope procrastination does not involve sex. ;-0


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