Thursday, February 5, 2009

Don’t knock a sista down!

Hey homies! Why’d you all go and do such a thing to a divalicious sista like me? I do my booty shake all up in this blog space with my stories and y’all have to drag a girl down! Sheez! I heard my name floating around y’alls mouths about there’s something all wrong with my site. I even had someone go and put me on a condemned list, man. She even gave me a mark of shame.

Why y’all laughing fer? Oh, y’alls saying this is a good thang? Um. Okay.

Moving onto more serious business, Bella at That Damn Expat gave me this Premio Dardos award because she believes this blog has some type of nutritional value to your daily reading regimen. Hee-hee! I am not going to touch that one. By the rules of the game, I have to pass it along to other bloggers who pass it along to other bloggers until we have a worldwide passing contest to see if we can overload the Blogger mainframe bringing chaos and destruction to Internet mankind. Or maybe it is just to show our appreciation for our fellow bloggers. Whichever reason is fine by me. Oh wait! She did post a reason.

"This award acknowledges the values that every Blogger displays in their effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values with each message they write. Awards like this have been created with the intention of promoting community among Bloggers. It's a way to show appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web."

1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who granted it to you, along with his/her blog link.

2. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you feel are worthy of this recognition. Remember to contact each of them to let them know they have been chosen as recipients.

I still like the chaos and destruction scenario better, yet to each their own. I have to name 15 bloggers. Gawd! Is there anyone left who doesn’t already have this award? Well, if I repeat someone then they will just end up having two awards. I am listing them in no particular order and for reasons of my own, which mainly have to deal with the fact that I like their blogs and the stories they post and maybe even just their waaay cool pictures in my little followers list.

1: Jennifer
2: Protege
3: Caroline
4: L.C. Gant
5: Chris
6: Beverly
7: Buck
8: Laughingwolf
9: Aerin
10: Dani
11: Bella- thatdamnexpat (ha - I gave it right back to you so I can continue my evil plans for world domination by collapsing the Blogger mainframe . . . MWAHAHAHA!)
12: Suldog (yes, I gave you one - take it, damn it!)
13: Angie (yes, I know you got one already - it still does not change the fact that I visit your blog every day like it is the cure for my madness without paying the $100 therapy bill.)
14: Kathryn (yes, I know Angie gave you one - but I am also showing my appreciation to you.)
15: Oren (I know you do not even have a blog, which is a shame because the comments you leave are very meaningful and I think you would be of great nutritional value to everyone’s daily regimen - so I am showing my appreciation because you stop by.)

Oops! Hey! I received another award recently. This is from Protege at Life, Work, and Pleasure.

Um, let me see who should have this one. She didn’t really say how many people I can give this to so I think I’ll just pick three. Okay. I know who.

1: Jinksy
2: Legal Mist
3: Small Footprints

Okay, people! What is going on? I also got tagged with a Random Photo Tag by Legalmist. When it rains, it snows. Um, this is a hard one for me.

Supposedly, I am to go into the fourth folder on my computer that has my pictures, find the fourth photo, and write a story about it then pick four people for the meme. I don’t have a fourth folder. I have one folder holding my photos, and there are not a lot of photos in there because my laptop is almost drained of memory. This is the reason I keep everything on my flash drives. Also, the only time I take photos is when I plan to use the picture in my blog. So I already wrote stories for those pics.

Huh? I guess I could take a different route with this.

I don’t normally talk about my work unless it relates to my writing. The only clue is in my profile where under occupation I have it down as “Wedding Biz.” Basically, I create stationery for weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, and graduations. This includes flyers, invitations, and wedding programs (the itinerary on how the wedding progresses - these are passed out at the beginning of the ceremony). I do it alone, printing out the information and then doing the rest by hand - and you will not believe the cramps I get in my hands when tying on the little ribbons for 250 wedding programs.

The economy has slowed significantly with this recession (no news flash there) and at times it has become shaky on whether I will continue with this or chalk it up as a failed business. I suppose it can be argued that with the computer age, many people are creating their own stationery. Yet most of my clienteles are low income people who do not even own a computer and cannot afford to go extravagant with their ceremonies. I cater to these people, offering flexible pricing (and why is this story starting to sound like a business ad? UGH! This is the reason I don’t talk about it unless kids shove fried chicken into ATMs at the reception hall.) Anyway, I offer beautiful, affordable stationery for those people who can’t have a guest spot on those shows like “Platinum Weddings” or other such nonsense on spending gads of cash on one ceremony where you could spend it all on buying three houses, and a yacht, and a small third world nation. The way I see it, there isn’t any reason why a low income couple can’t have a wonderful, beautiful party. I try to provide that.

Anyhow, the story I am sharing has to do with this picture, the fourth ceremony I did last year so this should satisfy the rules of the meme. What I want to talk about deals with the balloons in this picture. They were for a birthday party, and the order was for 50 balloons. Only 24 balloons arrived intact and I had the biggest welt on my arm for the entire day.

As for the day, it was a hot one - uncomfortably hot in the upper 90's, which I am sure doesn’t seem like it is hot for some of my readers here who live in more temperate climates. But here in Pennsylvania, anything above 80 degrees is uncomfortably hot. I drove the pickup truck to the store to get the balloons. Yes, I said a pickup truck. See, I don’t normally do balloons because of the hassles involved but the client could not pick them up and I volunteered to do it. I got the helium-filled balloons on this so hot day. Two seconds after leaving the store, they began to pop. The truck does not have a raised cab on the back. Instead it has . . .

Yawn . . . this is boring. Are you sure I can’t write about a stone automaton with the heart of a meteorite and the soul of a critically-ill child encased inside as his father hopes that the science of the 21st century can save his son? But something weird happens and people start to disappear?

Okay. I’ll get back to the balloon story. The truck had a flat foldable (yawn) cover as I tried to shove the balloons underneath. Of course, with all that trapped heat inside, they began to pop faster. When a helium balloon pops next to bare skin, IT HURTS! Trust me on this.

So there I was, driving to the reception hall with a bunch of balloons popping in the back of the truck. I stopped at an intersection as people waited to catch the bus.


People were ducking their heads thinking gunshot fire was aimed at them. I was lucky I didn’t pass by any police cars because the officers might have shot back. I got to the reception hall safely and told the client what happened with lots of laughter shared around.

Whew! Now I need to tag 4 people.

1: Sandra
2: Natalie
3: Jeni
4: Suldog - Why do I get the horrible feeling that I should not have picked you? Please be gentle, and don’t ruin my reputation with anything. Sigh. I just heard evil laughter.

Have fun!


  1. Yay - i was first on Angie's site and now on yours ! haw! *laughing childishly*

    *now blushing girlishly* thank you for the award...teehee....

    Your blog makes me laugh and feel all energetic! You are something else! :)

  2. OMG and slap yo mouff, Kat Magendie! LOL.

    Thanks, my friend. I so love the different voices displayed in today's post (and all of 'em, as a matter of fact).

    PS Saw Oren at the bowling alley yesterday coaching more kids. He really DOES need his own blog!

    PPS Do you sell cards other than for special soirees? HUGS

  3. Okay people. Is there a contest going on between the two of you on who posts first today? Play nicely and no hair pulling. Ha-ha!

    Kathryn: You're welcome. I know you just started blogging but you are making a big splash with the entertainment in your posts. Never a dull moment.

    Angie: You're welcome also. I like doing voices. I could do a good Jamaican, Austrailian(sic?), and British during my younger days. Of course, they all sounded like squeaky mice when spoken aloud because of my unnatural childlike voice - even after 33 years.

    Hey, Could you let Oren know he got an award? I'm not sure how to catch up with him besides leaving a comment on your blog, which he might miss if he has already stopped by today.

    I usually stick with soirees to sell cards because of the amount ordered (100-300). When it comes to a single everyday card, it's much easier for people to just drop by a Walmart and pick up one or make their own e-card. HUGS! :)

  4. Thanks for the award haha

    And I think it's so cool that you gave the fabulous award to Legal. That's the first award I ever got and it came from her.

  5. Hey, thanks for the award!

    And, nice job on the photo meme. I knew I could count on you to take just any old random photo and make it into an interesting story.

    And we learned something new about you, besides!

    I chose wisely. :)

  6. Holy #%#@%!, my darker gray friend. You tagged me TWICE in one sitting?!? And then you request that I be gentle?????????

    (Wait a minute, let me count. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9... Nope. One's missing.)


    I truly love you and all that sappy crap, but you are just BEGGING for a slapdown. But, will I deliver one? Maybe. Maybe not. If I just leave you hanging for a while, and wondering when the axe is gonna fall...


  7. Awww, now it's my turn to blush :-)

    Thanks a bunch, Michelle! I've never gotten an award before. SO exciting!

    Oh, and I have about a dozen friends getting married this year (literally), so I'll be sure to let them know about your services. Thanks again!

  8. Thanks Michelle. I am not smart enough to do a blog. I help coach two teams at the high school where our boys graduated from. This is a volunteer gig that has a hold on my heart and I do not want to let go.
    These kids make my heart leap at times like this.
    Thanks again for the award. I appreciate it.

  9. An award for me?! I don't know what to say...I am so unprepared! I don't even have a speech! Gee, this award is So heavy in real life! I'd just like to thank the academy, Miss Surly and all of you little people who make blogging possible!

    No really thanks! It's my first! I don't even know how to put it on my site?

    Hey, did you see Surly that I tried to write a story under 100 words? That was hard. But fun.

  10. CONGRATULATIONS on your awards and thank you humbly for awarding me one as well.;)))
    I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post about your profession and the balloons in the truck! It was not boring at all, on the contrary, I like to know more about your life outside of here.;))
    I hope you will be able to one day make money on your writing. I believe the probabilities for that are strong.;))

  11. Great story about the balloons!

    thanks for the award! *i never am sure what to do with tagging... i usually think about it and worry about it until i forget about it.... but we'll see. i need to think about this first...*

  12. Bella: What goes around comes around, and when it is good things like awards, there is enough to share around. Did that make sense?

    Legalmist: Thanks for the tag! It was one of the more interesting ones I've come across.

    Suldog: A slapdown? But...but... didn't you read the title of the post? "Don't knock a sista down!" I put it up there just so you wouldn't get mad. *I really didn't, but the excuse sounds good!*

    L.C. Gant: You're welcome. The writing advice and cheery attitude you have made you deserve the award.

    Oren: I know times can be busy for everyone. But I'm still glad to give the award to you despite you being blogless. Let's just say it is because of your volunteer work that makes you so deserving of it.

    Beverly: Walk that runway, girl! Give a smooch at the close-up camera and wear that tiara proudly! *see I told you writing flash fiction can be fun!*

    Protege: You are welcome, although I doubt I will write more posts about my daily life. I think it's way too boring to write about.

    Chris: Take all the time you need. It took me over a week to do this one, that's why I had so many awards and memes built up. You're welcome!

  13. Thanks for thinking of me, Michelle. I appreciate that!

    I was quite taken by this: The way I see it, there isn’t any reason why a low income couple can’t have a wonderful, beautiful party. I try to provide that.

    You're SUCH a good person, Michelle! Seriously. There's no doubt in my military mind that you DO provide wonderful, beautiful parties. Good on ya.

  14. awwwww thx hon, i'm honored up here in the great white north :)

  15. Buck: A good person? No, I'm just me. You're welcome for the award!

    laughingwolf: You're welcome! Keep warm in the great white north.

  16. Congratulations on the awards, Michelle! :) You definitely deserve them!

    And thanks for the tag! My favorite thing to do in blogland! lol

  17. Sandra: You are a tag magnet! lol!


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