Okay. I have a funny (evil) little story to tell you. Since lately I have had query letters on the brain, I wanted to share with you something that happened last year. I was visiting Agent Nathan Bransford’s blog on April 1, 2008(you know where this is going). Anyway, he talked about the basics of creating a query letter and even put up a type of form query leaving certain items blank where all you had to do was fill in the word. It went something to this:
Dear [Agent name],
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in [genre], and because you [personalized tidbit about agent].
[protagonist name] is a [description of protagonist] living in [setting]. But when [complicating incident], [protagonist name] must [protagonist's quest] and [verb] [villain] in order to [protagonist's goal].
[title] is a [word count] work of [genre]. I am the author of [author's credits (optional)], and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best wishes,[your name]
He called it the Query Mad Lib game and made a reference about how back in grade school the teacher would pass out sheets like this where you had to fill in the word to complete the sentences, and everybody had fun putting in words like “snot” and “farted.” Anyway, in the comments section, readers were using those snot/fart words to create fun sample queries. So, ever the one who was looking for a writing challenge, I joined in. Brace yourself.
Word Up! Homegirl here is sliding toward my cuzz because of your bodilicious skizzle in Aerodynamic Weaponery, and because you so totally lit that fart through Granny's digs - laugh riot.
Hamdinger is like a messed-up player living in Bling City. But when his tricked-out ride is scratched from a miss aimed fart, Hamdinger must shake himself down to the Hood and punk slap Mr. Yomamasougly in order to get his ride fixed.
Whomp! There it is!, is a 4-word phat work of urban miscommunication.
Mad props for your ticks of the watch, and you know homegirl is gonna come a-knocking at your pad with about fifty of her homies if she don't hear from you.
Her rump shaking and divalicious,
Yeah. I know you are shaking your heads in pity. It is part of my master plan. MWHAHAHAHA!