Sunday, February 15, 2009

Reminiscing about past comments

Okay. I have a funny (evil) little story to tell you. Since lately I have had query letters on the brain, I wanted to share with you something that happened last year. I was visiting Agent Nathan Bransford’s blog on April 1, 2008(you know where this is going). Anyway, he talked about the basics of creating a query letter and even put up a type of form query leaving certain items blank where all you had to do was fill in the word. It went something to this:

Dear [Agent name],

I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in [genre], and because you [personalized tidbit about agent].

[protagonist name] is a [description of protagonist] living in [setting]. But when [complicating incident], [protagonist name] must [protagonist's quest] and [verb] [villain] in order to [protagonist's goal].

[title] is a [word count] work of [genre]. I am the author of [author's credits (optional)], and this is my first novel.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best wishes,[your name]

He called it the Query Mad Lib game and made a reference about how back in grade school the teacher would pass out sheets like this where you had to fill in the word to complete the sentences, and everybody had fun putting in words like “snot” and “farted.” Anyway, in the comments section, readers were using those snot/fart words to create fun sample queries. So, ever the one who was looking for a writing challenge, I joined in. Brace yourself.

Yo, Nate-Dogg!

Word Up! Homegirl here is sliding toward my cuzz because of your bodilicious skizzle in Aerodynamic Weaponery, and because you so totally lit that fart through Granny's digs - laugh riot.

Hamdinger is like a messed-up player living in Bling City. But when his tricked-out ride is scratched from a miss aimed fart, Hamdinger must shake himself down to the Hood and punk slap Mr. Yomamasougly in order to get his ride fixed.

Whomp! There it is!, is a 4-word phat work of urban miscommunication.

Mad props for your ticks of the watch, and you know homegirl is gonna come a-knocking at your pad with about fifty of her homies if she don't hear from you.

Her rump shaking and divalicious,

Yeah. I know you are shaking your heads in pity. It is part of my master plan. MWHAHAHAHA!


  1. Yay! I'm first....izzle....


    Michelle, you are so danged funny

  2. LOL. Love it! HOpe it snags ya a good response, fo shizzle & coolio. hehe

  3. Hm, when does the British translation come out?! x

  4. Know you realize this is going to set Suldog off again. Should be fun to read. Good as usual.

  5. Ya know I think that letter would work.
    You know it would get passed around the office and certainly remembered. Oh gosh, what if you had to write a whole book like that!

  6. Gosh, nearly understood one word of it.
    I think.
    And it's very funny.
    I think.
    Had to laugh.
    I know!

    (on a serious note: have you heard anything yet?)

  7. Hehehe, I only understood the word "miscommunication" in your letter. Hehehe!
    Time to revisit, once again, with my boyfriend, fluent in English.;))

  8. Kathryn: fer sure! You slid your skizzle in and made it tops. First post. Haha!

    Angie: See, it's fun to write in lingo. Expands a person.

    Jinksy: I'm working on that! I can do British or is it Scottish?

    Oren: Well, I like feeding the lions, so hopefully he won't damage me too badly. Glad you liked it.

    Beverly: The query was easy. Writing an entire book like that wouldn't be. I would need a translator just to put it in English.

    Carolina: Glad you almost understood! Haha! As for an update, I waited the two weeks and heard no word. So I emailed a letter and she said she passed on the project. But I got another request already.

    Protege: There are parts that I don't even understand. Hope he can give me a translation! :)

  9. lol... but what was HIS take on it all?

  10. laughingwolf: He didn't say much, but I got a bunch of positive feedback from other readers.

  11. Oh, that's so exciting! Great!

  12. Thanks for the laugh! The kids are home from school (for a week!!!!) and this was just what I needed. :)

  13. Yeah. I know you are shaking your heads in pity.

    Au CONTRAIRE! I think you got it down, Michelle. But I don't know my nether parts from my elbow in this space... so take that FWIW. ;-)

  14. Carolina: Thanks for the encouraging words.

    Jennifer: You're welcome. I know what it's like watching kids. I used to watch my nephews on a nanny basis. Sometimes you just need a laugh now and then.

    Buck: I'll take your word for it. I trust you.

    laughingwolf: And I always will! :D

  15. LOL Nice query. And here I always try to be all serious with them. Is it weird that the one part that I thought "this will never work" was when you said it was a 4-word book? LOL

  16. Number One Novels: Well, you never know. Publishers would save tons of money on overhead for a four-word book! LOL!

    Thanks for stopping by!


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