Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Still March

I had hoped when I opened eyes on this day that it would be April. I was none too fond of the month of March. It was a transition month, a go-between for winter and spring. The only worthwhile holiday was St. Patrick’s Day. But I was not Irish, and I was a modest drinker. In fact, the last time I have had any alcohol pass between by my lips was at a wedding in 2007.

The calendar still said March. The day was the 11th on a Wednesday. “Beware the I’s of March,” I joked with myself since the number one will sometimes look like the letter ‘I’ on the computer. A lame joke, I admitted. I knew the real term was ‘Ides of March’ on the Roman calendar and that day was on the 15th. I sighed at my weirdness. It was going to be one of those days.

Time passed uneventfully. I waited to hear back from a client who was supposed to send me her photos so I could incorporate it into her invitations in July. I wanted to send her a sample of what it would look like and get the green light to go ahead with things. Then I could start on her wedding at the middle of April. No calls came in today. Slow day. So I busied myself with other work while promising my mind that I would get some writing done today. I was still sending out queries, still tweaking my letter and manuscript, and still getting back encouraging rejection letters.

“I found your project fascinating, but I don’t think it is the right fit for me.”

“Although we don’t think your manuscript is the right type for us to represent, your writing shows promise. We would be interested in considering future projects from you should you choose to submit them.”

“Thank you for your query. While I believe your premise is interesting, I think I will pass on your project.”


Sigh.

The day was quiet. Peaceful and mundane. I would get a chapter written. I would treat my imagination with writing something fascinating and take my thoughts and emotions off of what this day really meant: a year older in my lifespan. It was the tick-tick in the inevitable clock from life’s beginning to life’s end.

On March the 10th, I was 33.

On March the 11th, I turned 34.

I lit a candle; something I have done for the past few years. My eyes gazed at the pooling wax, hot like the flashes of random instances coming upon me. They only lasted a few moments within the flaming wick to become burnt away in a puff of forgotten smoke from my memories.

Such lofty thoughts filled my mind. I chuckled about it. Here I was using a candle spark as an analogy for my existence. Many poets have already created such platitudes. Greater minds had a better grasp on it. I settled on just creating a small rhyme before bedtime as a gift to myself.

Breath and teary eyes told of my coming into life,
filled with everyday trials of joy and strife.
I mark this day with the simple flash of a candle’s light
wrapping my heart in warmth to hold back Death’s might.

“Happy Birthday, Michelle,” I told myself before blowing out the glowing wick.

20 comments:

  1. Happy birthday!!

    And your rejection letters sound really promising. You know what you have is good; now, you just need the right fit. I bet it won't be long! :)

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  2. Happy Birthday, Michelle!!!

    I used to tell people that my birthday was right in between the Ides of March and St. Patrick's day... they usually responded with a look that said, "huh?"

    The rejection letters do sound promising. Keep going. I know, a no is still disheartening, but it's much better to hear a no that asks for more submissions.

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  3. "My eyes gazed at the pooling wax, hot like the flashes of random instances coming upon me.

    Happy Birthday, Dear Michelle. And chin up.. those hot flashes are still a long way off. ;)

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  4. MDGF:

    I wish I could be with you to give you a birthday hug, raise a glass in your honor, and share a big ol' hunk of cake. But I'm not there, so I can't give you the hug. And I'm fasting from flour products during Lent, so I can't have the cake. I'll raise a glass in your honor tonight, though. Happy Birthday!

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  5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY lovely Michelle.;)) I hope you will have a great day; you are still so very young.;))
    I know it is irritating when people say that, right?.:P But you truly ARE!;))) These are by far the best years, I want so badly to go back to my 30's again.;)

    And in respect to your writing; do not give up, it will happen, you are very talented.

    Congratulations again.;))
    xoxo

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  6. Love and Best Wishes, Michelle, and I'll light a candle for both of us when it's my turn to grow a year older next week! xxx

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  7. Well, well! Happy Birthday Michelle! See that, I'm a poet too but don't know it, although my feet show it as they are Longfellows.
    Just realized in reading your age, etc., you are exactly 11 months older than my baby here -Amanda AKA Mandy!
    I cant give you any great advice on writing and getting something accepted for publishing since I've really only ever had one item that went through the evaluation and acceptance to being published process. Translated -I don't know diddly squat in that respect. But I do know -from what I've seen and read of your writings here, that you are extremely talented, very creative and someday, that illusive ship will dock for you. I used to tell people who would tell me "your ship will come in one day" that with my luck though, the port would probably be under a blockade of some type though. Here's hoping your luck doesn't run in that vein and that soon it will all be clearer sailing.
    Happy Birthda, you little youngun!

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  8. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MI-CHE-LLLLLE!

    HAPPY BIRRRTHDAYYY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

    *GRIN*

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  9. Happy Birthday, Michelle! And yeah: you're still a pup, relatively speaking. It probably doesn't feel that way to you, but 34 was a veritable lifetime ago... to some of us. No names, of course.

    I'm thinking the rejection letters you're getting are worded quite nicely. And even though they are rejection letters, at least these people are taking the trouble to respond. That's something, in this day and age. It could be worse, or so I've heard.

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  10. Hope your day (and rest o' the month) are as special as you are!

    Happy birthday thoughts and prayers to you, dear bloggy friend!!!

    XXOOO

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  11. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICHELLE!!! Maybe we are all nothing more than a flicker of a candle ... but your flame burns brightly and beautifully! I hope that the coming year brings you joy and surprises around every corner.

    About the rejections ... you know what they say ... you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince. :) That "princely" acceptance letter is out there!!

    Small Footprints
    http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com

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  12. Your still just a baby. Happy Birthday young lady. Many happy more to come your way.
    Oren

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  13. yappy barfday, little lady :O lol

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  14. Happy Birthday, Michelle!!

    Take heart! The letters have least have some positive comments in them. And, most importantly, you are receiving them because you are willing to stick yourself out there to achieve you dreams.

    Remember, failure is the cessation of all effort. Never give up!!

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  15. A belated: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday too youuuu! Happy birthday dear Michelle, happy birthday toooooo YOOOOUUUUUU! (my father and Holle joined in at this point for this not so musical tribute)

    I hope you didn't really feel so downish on your birthday or on any day for that matter. Big smile!

    Hugs

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  16. Thank You Everyone!

    What great readers I have!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Happy birthday! As one of my best friends says, you're not getting older, you're just getting more FABulous!

    Plus, each rejection letter brings you one step closer to acceptance! Yay! Okay, that was lame, but it's true. Don't give up! The world needs to hear your story :)

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  18. L.C. Gant: Thanks, although after reading Moonrat's post yesterday I feel the publishing doors have closed in a little more on me.

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  19. Happy birthday!

    I agree with everyone else: those rejection letters sound really promising. It sounds like your story is ready to be sold, it's just a matter of getting your manuscript in the right person's hands.

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  20. Rebecca: Thanks for the b-day wishes and the vote of confidence. I sure need it!

    ReplyDelete

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