Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Book titles and Authors that we can do without

I have this bad habit of waking up before the crack of dawn for no apparent reason. Usually I will just lay there in bed with my eyes still closed, as I would imagine a soap opera drama behind my eyelids. I take mental notes of the people as they act out their show. Then I would give each of them their own names and personalties for the manuscript I will be writing. This morning I basically had everything down pat for my new story, so I gave my mind a day off to entertain me with something else before I would have to officially get up out of bed.

My mind never disappoints me.

This time it came up with a list of wacky, weird, and gross book titles/authors you should never find on the shelves, and I decided to share this with all of my readers. Feel free to leave some of your own titles in the comment’s section.
“This would make a Fab Movie”
by Ian Grate

“Scavengers, The Hardy Man’s Cookbook: Gamy makes it taste better”
by Apple Beis

“Infectious Diseases need a bit of Loving too!”
by Greta Ringworm

“Serenading the Ex-wife”
by Gunner Down

“Sue yourself - because you have sued everyone else: How I made money off of me”
by Connor Scaam

“Sliced the wrong way: Confessions of a Fake Plastic Surgeon”
by Tucker Nip

“Latex in all the Wrong Places: Rectal Exams for Dummies”
by AH Noh

“Belladonna for his Momma: An Angry Daughter-in-Law’s Tale”
by Ima Wich

“Beans . . . the Musical”
by Ludwig Von Tooters

“The Phone never Rings Twice”
by Won Nite-stand

“Blood Drain: Bath Tubs make the Best Hiding Places - A How-to Manual”
by Heesa Syco

“Kissing Cousin Carla”
by Mary N. Bred

“No, That’s Just My Brother Calling”
by Sheesa Cheater


  1. These are hilarious. I had to read them outloud to one of my co-workers, because they were just that good.

  2. Eric: You're spreading my sickness to your coworkers. So cruel!

    Glad you liked them, although I probably would have done better if it wasn't an off day for my mind.

  3. I shouldn't be laughing so hard in the library...

  4. Wonderful! All I can reply with are a few of my favorites, not mine originally.

    "The Tiger's Revenge" by Claude Balls

    "The Irish Princess" by Erasmus B. White

    "Wet Trousers & Smelly Car Seats" by I. P. Constantly

  5. When You Can't Stop Writing, by Ima Blogger

  6. Adaora: Blame it on me if the librarian kicks you out.

    Suldog: Nice! I like the first one. The last reminds me of yesterday's post. And the middle has me scratching my head.

    Angie: See what fun it is! And truisms can spring up unexpectedly!

  7. Too cute. All I could think of was inspired by your blog name:

    The Art of Sleeping In by Dunn Waycus Surly.

  8. If this was an off day, God help us when you have an on day. Funny stuff.

  9. There is something not right about you Michelle!

    Of course, that's means that there also something not right about me, as I found those to be darn funny.

  10. Haha, Michelle, this made a for a great morning laugh!!
    Excellent, loved them all!
    But the best was the "Sue yourself....", that was brilliant.;))

  11. Hilary: I would love to read that book!

    Karen: Thanks, and thanks for stopping by!

    Oren: Yes. There might be straitjackets involved if my mind ever has an on day.

    Buckskins: Um... I never claimed there was anything right about me. Hee-hee! I'm just glad to find kindred souls.

    Protege: In all honesty, I'm surprised there isn't a book on sueing yourself. Maybe... one day...

  12. OK, explanation of the middle one. I've heard it given as either "The Irish Princess" or "The African Princess", and the author changes accordingly, either "Erasmus B. White" or "Erasmus B. Black" (Her ass must be...)

  13. Suldog: Ohh! Haha! I get it now! That IS a good one.


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