Thursday, April 9, 2009

What would you REALLY do if you had a billion dollars?

Sometimes we come across a meme or just a basic question asked by friends and relatives on what would happen if, by some strange fate, you had a billion dollars. What would you do with the money? Often, people will be humble with their answers.

“I will give it to charity.”

“I will help house and feed the poor.”

“I will hire a real shrink for Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and that goofy Lohan clan.”

“I will buy a gun safety lock for the football player, Plaxico Burress, so he won’t shoot himself in the leg again at a night club.”

“I would make sure to pay off the thug who will tamper with all the skates on the entire Detroit Redwings team so when my beloved Pittsburgh Penguins meet them for the Stanley Cup rematch this year, the Pens will beat down the loser wings like THE DIRTY DOGS THAT THEY ARE AND SHOW WHO ARE THE REAL HOCKEY CHAMPIONS! MUWHAHAHAHA!”

Ahem. All these are worthwhile causes, to be sure. Yet what would you selfishly do with the money? Let’s say that medical science has cured all diseases. Nobody was poor or malnourished. Those crazy celebrity gals had all decided to become *snicker* nuns. Plaxico did his jail time and pursued a lifelong career of community service. And Detroit fell off the face of the Earth.

Okay, strike out this last part. Um, the Redwings conceded that the Pens are the greatest hockey players in the world and the Loserwings quit hockey to become Las Vegas blackjack dealers.

Now, what would you do with the money?

I thought about it long and hard. I’ve come up with four things I would do with a billion bucks.

1: I would have the world’s largest and longest barbeque with all that red meat.

Hee-hee! Bucks/deer. Get it? *snicker* Oh, come one. It was a joke. Laugh a little, will you? Besides, you don’t think I would house a billion deer and shovel around all that buck poop.

Okay . . . okay . . . I would buy a bicycle and learn how to ride it. I never had one when I was a kid. The road we lived on was too dangerous (two neighborhood kids had died in car accidents). So I was completely forbidden from being near it and having a bike. I think I would enjoy having one now.

2: I would go see the ocean.

I would like to see it at least once in my life. I can imagine just standing on the beach, curling toes into the sand, and gazing at all that water rushing up on the shore. To watch the waves roll back and forth, I bet it’s an amazing sight to witness.

3: I would buy a small cottage for myself somewhere.

It doesn’t really matter to me where I might live. So long as it is at a peaceful and quiet place with great neighbors and best friends and everybody enjoys being near everyone else without having to be mean tempered. A pipe dream, I know, but so is this situation in ever having this much money. So let me dream a little with all my answers today.

4: I would give the rest away.

I wouldn’t keep it. I simply wouldn’t know what else to do with it, or have a reason to hoard the money while becoming a miserly hag. Money changes people - for better and for the worse. Since there would be no charities to give the money to do good by, and I don’t want to do worse upon myself or anyone, I would give the money away. Let someone else have a few things they might have always wanted and then let them pass the rest on.

So, what would you do with the $999,999,999.99 that I passed on to you?


  1. Um, yeah. I would totally not spend it on charity. Then again, I have two preschoolers and one's autistic and by the time they're in college, one /year/ will cost a billion dollars.

    I would put away the amount due for taxes, so I'm not tempted.

    I'm very into my "space" so I'd buy a gorgeous bit of land somewhere and build my dream house.

    I'd invest some for my kids' and my nieces' education - that's selfish because I want them to leave the house & ditto for my sister, who can then finally help me learn to use the sewing machine.

    Spa week in Sedona. Writer's month in somewhere equally lovely - I'd prefer Northern Territory, Australia (yes, I would.)

    Block party for my blogosphere buddies so we can jump out of our wonderland mirrors and meet each other.

    Oh, yeah. An iPhone.

  2. Michelle, I totally loved this post! The joke with the "bucks" was great.;))

    What strike me immediately is the fact that you have never ever seen the ocean. Being born and growing up in the mountains, I remember when I saw the sea for first time as a child. Living next to one today, I can not even imagine not to see it every single day.

    So what would I do with a billion dollars? Well, only a minute portion of it would do, so I could pay out the mortgage on my house. The rest, just like you, I would give away. I would simply not need it as to me the best in life is usually in the voyage and with so much money, that would become obsolete.

    Have a wonderful Easter my friend.;))

  3. Aerin: Who doesn't want an Iphone?

    Good picks! I'm just curious to find out more about people this way. Taking away charities and such allows me to find out in-depth things about people.

    Protege: I've totally been inland all my life. The closest I've been to salt water was at (I think) Hudson River (in New York). (really, I'm not sure. I was very young at the time, so I might be mistaken at the place.) But that isn't the same as seeing the ocean when you can see the other side of the river bank.

    Happy Easter to you!

  4. Okay, first off I command you to log off, get in your car, and drive to the nearest ocean. Even though I'm not "in love" with the ocean, its something you really have to see at least once. Even better, borrow a bicycle while you're there so you can ride it alongside the beach. That knocks out two off your list.

    I can't really say what I'd do if I had all that money for a couple reasons. The WIP I'm working involves the idea of being the recipient of a huge amount of money, and doing something worthy with it. So I won't say what that is.

    I'd have alot of trouble spending it as well though, because except for a cool computer, I'm not a very materialistic guy. I'm already dashing looking, right? So no plastic surgery. And not at all egotistical (grin).

    Of course, if all ills of society are solved, why would there be an instance where you would receive a huge amount of money? Wouldn't money no longer exist?

  5. I'd give some to friends really in need, set up trust funds for my kidlets, fix up the local Mens Shelter I love, then buy a colony of small cottages on a quiet beach for all my writing gang. Yes, one has your name on it. :)

  6. I'd spend 50% on whiskey, women, and flashy cars.

    The other half I'd probably waste.

  7. I would use it on the bills as far as it goes. Seriously, schools, churches, and the teams I have the honor of coaching. Yea, kind of sappy, but I love my kids. Angie knows. Ask her.

  8. I would buy a house and a cottage. I'd take the twins to Disney World. I'd pay off the rest of my parents' mortgage. Oh, I'd like a new car that's all mine. I'd stay at home and write to my little heart's content and my husband wouldn't be able to say a darn thing about it. hehehe I'd put some away for university once my kids are old enough for that and some money for them to live comfortably. I'd also like to donate some of it to charity. There are a few I'd love to support.

    Lynnette Labelle

  9. Eric: Yes, sir! I'll go to the ocean straight away... after work... after writing... after finding the time... are getting the money...

    Of course, if all ills of society are solved, why would there be an instance where you would receive a huge amount of money? Wouldn't money no longer exist?

    Hmm? That's a good question. In my honest opinion, I think money would still exist. There are many people who hold a materialistic viewpoint above all else, and they will take advantage of that by using dollar signs for the buying and selling of their goods. Also, other people believe the worth of their lives and accomplishments are based on income. They can't brag about themselves if they don't have the new Porsche sitting in their driveway.

    Angie: Whoo-hoo! I gots me a cottage already! I'm halfway there!

    Chris: Whiskey before women? You are definitely a man who has his priorities straight. By and by, I would put the booze first also.

    Oren: Sappy? No way. :)

    Lynette: Even when I take charities off the list and want people to be extremely selfish, I still have several readers saying they would give to charities.

    There is hope in this world, and wonderful people who think about others more than themselves. Thanks for commenting and stopping by!

  10. First, I hope you somehow get a chance to come to Boston. I want to meet you, anyway, but now that I know how you feel about the ocean, I would be very thrilled to take you to a beach. And I am not the sort who thrives at the beach - I burn red like a lobster - so take this as sign of my true affection for you. Also, I would gladly help to steady your bike while you learn. The other two things I wouldn't be so much help with, in all probability.

    As to the money, I'd give one million dollars to each of my 950 closest relatives and friends. I figure 50 million should be more than enough to carry me and MY WIFE through the rest of our lives in splendiferous comfort and ease. I'd buy a couple of houses, season tickets to the Celtics, a lifetime supply of peanut butter and crackers, and maybe some new bass strings. I think MY WIFE would like a mink (I think she means a coat, not the actual animal, although I'll check before buying one.)

    In seriousness, I'd donate a large portion of the remainder to a couple of religious causes close to my heart. Oh, and buy my softball teams the snazziest uniforms available.

    And Mallo Cups. A big sack of them.

  11. Buy up the mountain land around me to stop the A-Hls from developing it!

  12. First, I'd hire me a live in staff to take care of all the housework and child care.

    Next, I'd buy myself an Aston Martin DB9

    Then a Bentley GTC.

    Then a Mustang Shelby Super Snake

    A vacation house in Hawaii

    Open a bookstore catering only to genre fiction and not care that it lost money.

    donate enough money to my alma mater university that they named a college after me

    That would still leave a lot of money. I'd set up trusts for my school district with all kinds of strings attached so they wouldn't do something stupid with the money. They tend to do that around here.

    Found you at Chit Chat.

  13. “I would make sure to pay off the thug who will tamper with all the skates on the entire Detroit Redwings team so when my beloved Pittsburgh Penguins meet them for the Stanley Cup rematch this year, the Pens will beat down the loser wings like THE DIRTY DOGS THAT THEY ARE AND SHOW WHO ARE THE REAL HOCKEY CHAMPIONS! MUWHAHAHAHA!”

    And just WHERE is Lord Stanley's Cup, as we speak? Why... yes... it's in HOCKEYTOWN!

    As for that billion dollars... I think I'd buy the condo to end all Dee-troit, of course... and season tickets on the glass at The Joe. I'd be sure to wave at you, Michelle, whenever the Versus or NBC camera panned my way. It would be the least I could do.

  14. Make sure my children never have to work again.

    Then I would attempt to buy most of Wyoming. And then a lot of horses to populate it.

    And cowgirls, lots of cowgirls. To ride the horses of course. Geez people, get your mind out the gutter!

  15. Suldog: *sniffle* I'm all teary-eyed that you would risk everyone calling you "Lobster Man" because of the sunburn just so you could take me to the beach. Buy Mallo cups? Good call!

    Kathryn: Too Right! I hate it when all the beautiful land disappears just to put in a mega-Walmart even though it's a small community.

    Rene: Um... that's a lot of cars! Hee-hee! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    Buck: Well, all I can say is... don't cry too much in the camera when your team loses.

    Buckskins: Nothing wrong with all the cowgirls. All course, you never mentioned whether they would be clothed while riding...

  16. I hadn't thought of a clothing optional ranch! You might be on to something there...

  17. Oh I'd have to get a cottage near yours. It sounds like you have great neighbours! ;)

    And I think it's so sweet that Suldog would become your darkening shade of gray friend so that you could see the ocean. :)

  18. get yourself a bike!

    i like the cottage idea. only mine would have a jacuzi. and. after a magnificent protracted spending spree (at least 3 days in length) i'd probably give it away. but my giving it away, (minus whatever it takes to keep me in chocolate, wine, and plenty of heat for the rest of my life,) my giving it away would also be selfish. i just wouldn't want to deal with it. lol. think of the tax forms!

  19. Hey lady! I don't think you've gotten this award and you need it:

  20. Buckskins: Oy! Me and my big mouth!

    Hilary: Hi neighbor! It would be so great. And we could give Suldog the nickname, Lobster Man.

    Chris: Yes, the taxes would be a killer. Let's say the billion came after taxes. Or maybe, buy up the IRS. Oh, now there's an idea...

    Aerin: An award? Oh my...

  21. If I ever won a million dollars, I would go deep, deep into dept. I think I've promised everyone I know something hugely expensive if I ever, by any circumstance, obtain an unholy amount of cash.
    All I can do now is cross my fingers and not buy lottery tickets, my own fault


People want to comment here?'s your two-cents, Bub. Spend it wisely!


Related Posts with Thumbnails

ESPN NHL Standings