Sunday, April 5, 2009

Peeves and Fetishes

They go hand in hand, this love/hate relationship between two extremes that make us unique individuals.

I don’t have either.

I don’t have a pet peeve or a fetish. I have sat here for the past fifteen minutes wanting to do a blog post about this and not coming up with anything to say. I could use the all-time favorite throwback and claim that I hate it when a guy leaves the toilet seat up. Yet, in all honesty, this doesn’t bother me. Just having a guy around would be nice and I think I could live with a little wet tooshie at two in the morning all because he forgot to lower hte . . . het . . . eth . . . the seat.

$^*@##*$& I hate that! I hate misspelling the word “the.” It has to be the most annoying thing to see when someone goofs up on it. It makes me grind my teeth every time I see it spelled wrong, and that’s saying something considering I’ve made hundreds of errors on this blog. But “THE?” C’mon now! Buy a dictionary!

Ahem. I’m sorry. Where was I? Oh, right. Peeves. I can’t think of any that I can share with you. Sorry. And I have scanned the brain waves for fetishes. I’m not a clean freak, or the polar opposite of a pig in a sty. I’m not the type of controlling person who needs to have everything in a specific way or I go all out in a . . .

Whoa! Would you look at him? Mmm. Yum! I LOVE a guy with face fungus, but it has to be groomed. I don’t dig the ones who look like Grizzly Addams and he doesn’t have to squirrel away food in his beard for the Armageddon. Nicely trimmed, and clean, facial hair goes a long way for a gal like me.

. . . rage all because someone misplaced a book on the shelf or they mixed up the spices on the rack. Also, I can’t claim I have a body fetish, like freaking out if I don’t have a spot of makeup on or messing around with my hair like those guys you might have once seen in high school - they carried a comb and mirror in their back pockets and had to groom their hair every two seconds because they thought a strand was misplaced.

Could his hair be any longer? It makes me want to run fingers through those long tresses on his head. No, I don’t like long hair on a guy with a beard. If he has facial hair, then he doesn’t need the big hairdo on top. He can have short hair, or bald, on top with an attractive beard. Or he can have long hair on top and no beard. Yeah, I know there are great guys who don’t fall into these categories. Yes, there is a thing called *yawn* personality . . .

So I have no fetish to share with you. I guess I’m really easy going on peeves and not a stickler for fetishes. Well, maybe there IS one fetish I guess I have. It involves the types of guys I like to be around. It is a type of prerequisite of mine.

I adore men who make me laugh.


  1. haha. Great post. as usual..very entertaining!

  2. fun post! pet peeves usually occur to me before coffee in the morning. lol.

  3. Great post Michelle. You know Suldog was expecting something entirely different, yea me too.
    Hope the week goes well for you.

  4. Hehe, Michelle.;))
    Sometimes I would like to hear you read your posts. You know, like when authors read from their books in a bookshop somewhere. Your posts deserve to be read out loud.;))

  5. FP Design: Thanks!

    Chris S: That is absolutely the worst time. Second worse time is right before bed, when you want to go to bed, and something is stopping you from going to bed.

    Oren: Thanks! Hmm, a different type of post? Why? I'm not THAT crazy... well... uh... I'll get back to you on that point.

    Protege: You would HATE to hear me read the posts. Yeah, I did take Public Speaking classes in high school. But the sheer child-like tone would have you holding your ears in mercy.

  6. I spell well, my beard is neatly trimmed, and I do believe I've made you laugh on occasion. I don't leave the toilet seat up, but I can re-train myself to do so, if that would help.

    (This is all moot, of course, since I'm happily married, but if something happens in the future and our situations change, well, I'm just letting you know where I stand on your chart.)

  7. Suldog: Holy Crap! You scared the bejeebers out of me, popping in out of nowhere right when I posted my other comment.

    Chock up my first peeve. Getting a surprise comment right after I comment. Feel proud to put that on your list. You are the first person who created one of my peeves.

    All joking aside, don't re-train yourself on the toilet thing. Accidents happen, and it would force me to put you into the number two slot for my fantasy guy chart.

  8. Nice work, Michelle. As one of the 'follically challenged', it's nice to see that we're not always discriminated against by those of the female persuasion.

  9. Chris: Ahhh... beards. Hmm? What? Did you say something?

  10. I had a hunch your peeves and fetishes would make Suldog come running.. if you had any, that is. ;)

  11. Wow, a "normal" writer. A rare bird! :)

  12. Great post, Michelle.

    I could probably right a short story about all my pet peeves.

    The fetish list is a bit shorter, mostly centering on boots. Get your minds out of the gutter, folks! I'm talking cowboy boots, work boots, pac boots, rubber boots, hunting boots, etc.

  13. Hilary: Yes, IF I had any - which I would never admit to in a blog post.

    Angie: Cut down on the coffee, girlfriend. Normal will never be found here. I would be a normal person if I had a few fetishes and peeves, which I obviously don't.

    Buckskins: Oh, sure...sure THOSE types of boots. Uh huh! I believe you. You won't find any types of denials here at my blog.


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