I’m sure everyone has come to a point in their life where it just seems they are waiting for something to happen, yet you don’t know what that something is. It’s the in-between time where life slows from one pivotal point to the next, and you bite your nails hoping that when the life-changing event happens, it will be a good thing. You sit there praying that you will make the right decision that will improve things in your life.
I’m in stasis mode right now . . . waiting. I’ve been in it for some time while wondering when the pendulum is going to tilt and I will make my choice. During my wait, I’ve been thinking of all my previous circumstances. I’ve categorized them into three lists: “Decisions I regret making,” “Decisions I am content with,” and “Why couldn’t other people have decided differently?”
The last on my list is the most interesting since it involves someone else creating the pivotal moment beyond anyone else’s control. I have many, as I suspect many of you do, during your youngest days. I’ve gone back, far back, in my memories to all these moments and I scratch my head on what my life would have been like if things had happened differently.
I guess I should jot down those pivotal points, although I won’t say right now which lists these items are placed in (because it would surprise you). They are in chronological order from my earliest times to now.
Growing up in a dysfunctional family
Stopped myself from being a teenage runaway
Having a wild, beer-guzzling night
Dealing with stalkers
Left college without graduating
Involved in a car accident
Someone shot at my head
A victim of credit fraud
A nanny for nephews and nieces
Deciding to become a writer
I thought I would have more pivotal moments. Yet perhaps I am fortunate that I didn’t. I’m not someone who has had the best of situations happen to them, and my luck is the worse anyone could possibly have. I’ll now put down how many of these are in each of my three lists.
Decisions I regretted - 3
Decisions I am content with - 3
Why couldn’t other people have decided differently? - 4
I’m sure everyone can guess which ones are in the last category. And I know everyone could guess which list “Writer” goes into. But you would be surprised (very surprised) on the other things. In fact, I can honestly tell you that if you sat there and decided which events I regretted and which things I’m content with, I would tell you to switch every single one.
Confused? Welcome to my world! Right now I am sitting in stasis mode. Where will I go from here?