Okay, raise your hands

How many of us have done internet searches of our own name? How many of us keeps track of our statistics to our blog?

Admit it. We’ve all done it once in our lives. And if you haven’t, then you are missing some entertaining things.

Or so I’ve been told . . .

I’ve done searches under this blog title and under my name as well as using different search engines like AOL and Google. I’ve discovered an interesting trend. Whenever my name is mentioned (and it deals with me directly), it usually involves someone else’s website - or rather ONE person’s site.

I’m famous due to one person. Unfortunately, the nature of this post does not shine me in the most welcoming light. In fact it roasts me, unmercifully, all because I gave him a blog award and tagged him with a meme on the same day.

This is the post: Michelle Hickman Gave Me PD! A spit-take on your keyboard is bound to happen. Sue him for the repairs.

I’ve found links to this post on both search engines - on the first page - before an actual link to my blog appears. The only redeeming quality is that Google has my face image on their profile link in their search results, so I am on the first page at least through there. Unfortunately, if you do a general Google image search for my name, my picture will appear . . . linked to the other person’s blog.

I’m laughing. Really, I am. It’s not every day that one of my faithful readers makes me viral, in every sense of the word.

Anyway, if skipping over this listing to find a link that goes directly to me, you have to go to the second page for both AOL and Google . . . toward the middle of the results. Oy!

Moving onto statistics for this blog, I hate most of the stat counters out there. Sitemeter is at the top of my dislike list. It never worked on my other blog. I told them such. They countered by saying things were fine.

Well, things weren’t fine if I continually get booted out your system whenever I click on anything. I told them to cancel my account.

I tried BlogPatrol, which I have for both of my sites. It takes forever to load only because of all the ad networks they have on their main page. Again, I have problems viewing my stats. But at least I CAN view them - unlike the hullabaloo with Sitemeter, unless I try on the weekend. Then forget it.

My only options have been Google Webmaster tools and Analytical.

I’m basically going to talk about search queries because a few of these are about the funniest you can imagine (or at least they are funny to me). Here’s a rundown of the list based upon the top searches, the percentage of times someone has looked for these words, and the position (page) on where my blog appeared in the results.

1: 27% page:8 crashed that chevrolet...
2: 16% page: 34 surly
3: 15% page: 5 horny things
4: 12% page: 7 crashed that chevrolet... lyrics
5: 5% page: 4 michelle virtue blog
6: 5% page: 5 paws in typing town theme song
7: 3% page: 7 and crashed that chevrolet
8: 3% page: 9 angie story
9: 2% page: 2 littlenewsreporter.blogspot.com
10: 2% page: 8 fart yankee doodle
11: 2% page: 9 “zombie bats”
12: 2% page: 11 smallest money

I crashed that Chevrolet and then stepped away? My page has appeared, and will again after this sentence, a total of 3 different times all because earlier this year I typed in the lyrics to Rehab’s, “Bartender,” song. I included the full lyrics, but because my page rank is higher than 2 then more than likely the person never clicked on my site link. The only one where people might see me on is “littlenewsreporter.blogspot.com.” Why? I have not the slightest clue. I can’t for the life of me think of a single post where I used all those words together.

Fart Yankee Doodle? This is because I wrote a post titled, “Yankee Doodle wasn’t dandy when dealing with seals’ butts.” It’s perfectly logical, except the part on WHY someone is doing a search for this topic.

Zombie bats? That’s from my “Dream” post. Maybe someone is getting into the Halloween spirit early.

I also have no clue on “paws in typing town theme song.” There’s no way I used this combination of words for a post. I probably could now that I have the idea. Hmm . . .

Anyway, go forth my blogger minions and do searches on your own name and blogs. See what comes up for you. You might get a good laugh. Heck, you might even discover you are an infectious disease.