Monday, November 16, 2009


It’s amazing that I meet people who don’t know what the word Sudoku means. They think it’s what a drunk person mumbles when they spill beer on the floor and then waves a hand at the stinky fart they passed when bending over to clean up the mess.



“Kuuuuuuuu . . .”

Why do I feel a million eyes rolling at my tasteless joke above? Must be my imagination. I know that 500,000 people don’t read my blog.

(Get it? A million eyes? Everybody has two so it would only be 500,000 people, unless you went through a gruesome accident leaving you with one eye - I didn’t count on that and it completely spoils the joke. Never mind.)

Anyway, I assure everyone that Sudoku does not concern any drunk farting people, or any incoming lawsuit, or a secret message from a woman named Sue meeting you at the dock later tonight. It is a challenging logic number game.

Like a crossword puzzle without words, the premise is to simply fill in the missing numbers in a puzzle grid so that every horizontal row, vertical column, and 3x3 square contains each number from 1 to 9 without repeats. There are no math calculations. It’s all about problem solving, logic, reason and critical thinking skills.

*hear drunk people snoring*

Look, it’s a fun game for any person who thrills on crossword puzzles and is searching for something else to challenge the mind.

*more snoring*

Okay, let me say that it’s for those GEEKS out there who like to spend a lazy weekend afternoon listening to their favorite music album and propping feet on the end table while playing puzzles.

*geeks cheer - waking up the drunk people. Drunk people beat geeks to death for disturbing their naps*

Um . . . yeah, I first became involved in Sudoku about 4 years ago when finding a puzzle in the local Sunday newspaper. Since then, I’ve completed 3 puzzle books (containing 100 puzzles apiece), one CD ROM (400 puzzles), and a handheld electronic Sudoku game (ran out the batteries). It can be a very addictive game, but quite entertaining.

*drunk people are sobering up - getting ornery. Someone tosses a vase against the wall searching for more beer. They start to eye the remaining Sudoku geek (me) menacingly*

All right! All right! There’s an All-U-Can-Drink beerfest at this place. All you have to do is give the person a blog award and he’ll ship you the free cases of booze. No, ignore what he posted about filleting the next person who gives him any awards. It’s a farce. He LOVES blog awards - cannot get enough of them. Just tell him “Eric” sent you . . .

(Eric - you deserved it. You ratted him out Friday by saying he was the person who threw up on my carpet during the blogoversary celebration.)

(MLGF - you deserved it. This concerns our recent conversation about blog awards and “certain” imagined scenarios.)

(All my readers - that last part of my post was a joke. Please don’t send that man any awards. I hate to consider the blackmail options he'll make me pick from so he won't fillet me.)


  1. Su. . . Do. . . Ku. . .

    Must. . . do. . . Sudoku. . . puzzles. . .

    It seems borderline irresponsible for me to post a link to online Sudokus, but, because I'm an addict and can't help myself (and besides, I love you so). . .

    here you go. . .

  2. I just can't get into the Sudoku puzzles even though I enjoy the crossword puzzle in our paper(it must be easy 'cause I can usually answer all of it)... which is probably why I don't do Sudoku, I am always left with one square that causes the whole thing to be yuck! Hats off to you for conquering it.

  3. What I want to know is why any time you mention drunkenness or geeks, my face shows up at the end of your piece?

    Then again, maybe I don't want to know.

  4. My aunt is completely hooked on Sudoku. She does is in Czech though.;) I never got into it as I am not that accomplished in any language, I am afraid.;)

  5. Okay, first of all, I don't remember ratting anybody out. It must have been my son typing on my computer...yeah...that's it...

    Oh, and way to fly your super-geek flag high. Anyone who would willingly subject themselves to math/number problems deserve all the beatings they get from the drunks.

    By the way drunks, did you know Michelle is really fun when you get her drunk? Um...I don't know from personal experience of course, but I have heard rumors.

  6. Aw, come on. Give him an award. I dare you!

  7. Desmond: Thanks for feeding my addiction. I had to click on it and see all the wonderful puzzles... HOLY CRAP! I can print them out too! You are so going on my "Favorite Blogging Guys" list.

    Lizzy: I can usually win at Sudoku. I love crossword puzzles, but I rarely complete one of them, especially whenever they feature a lot of movie stars. I'm bad at remembering names of actors.

    Suldog: Your face shows up as a shining example of someone who... um... who people should strive to be instead of drunken geeks.(Hey, everyone, do you think he'll buy that one?)

    Or maybe it's because Big Brother fears your awesomeness and wishes to tarnish your reputation by LYING about you being a drunken geek. I like that one better.

    Protege: Wait a minute! Why does being accomplished in a language have to do with a numbers game? ;)

    Eric: HE LIES! Nobody listen to Eric! He doesn't know how I am when I'm drunk. He made that fake videotape in his basement. It's someone wearing black face paint and a wig!

    Knucklehead: Next time, I'll write your name into it...


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