Sometimes memes migrate around social media sites. Luckily, this isn't one of those. My friend Suldog did 11 questions posted by another blogger and then listed his own. For fun, and because I need to put something here at Ye Olde Blog, I decided to post his questions and my accompanying answers...
Be afraid... be very afraid...
1 - Have you ever voluntarily put anything up your nose aside from drugs?
Tissues. I have allergies that rage during the summer and winter. If my fingers say something different, they are lying.
2 - Is it still there?
Let me check... not at the moment. I think they are off to lunch.
3 - How many real teeth (that is, not store bought) do you have in your mouth?
32. Due to the wonders of human anatomy, I have four extra in my mouth called wisdom teeth. Funny how I went through numerous dentist appointments to get my teeth all straight and looking good during my teenage years all to have those 4 teeth erupt later in life, making things all crooked in my mouth. Not the wisest things for them to do.
(If you have them anywhere else, please elucidate.)
4 - If you could take any two things on the planet and staple them together, what would they be?
Cigarettes and squirrels. Let's see how many people stop smoking when lighting both on fire and shoving them in their mouths.
5 - Do you think plants can hear you think?
No. Because if plants could hear us think, they would be majorly pissed every time a person thought about watering them and then forgot to do it for 6 months. Can you imagine such emotional distress?
Human: "I think I'll water you today."
Plant reading what the human thought: "Hooray! I've been so thirsty for so long that I feel my petals drooping."
Human (6 months later) "I think I'll water you today."
Plant (half-dead): "I hate you, you lying bastard."
6 - How many rocks are in your house?
Seriously, more than I probably think there are. The Overlord likes to hide rocks and bring them home as pets.
7 - If I asked you to shove a toy surprise up my ass and call me
Crackerjack, would you compare and contrast Napoleon's march on Moscow
with Ritchie Blackmore's guitar solo on Highway Star?
Who's Ritchie Blackmore?
8 - Why are you still reading this?
Because I'm taking pity on you.
9 - Do you think it's going to get better?
It could. Always be optimistic. Things could be worse. You could be a dying plant that can read human thoughts while trying to light a cigarette/squirrel.
10 - Why is a kumquat not entirely unlike a porcupine?
They are both funny to say together.
11 - When do you think the world will end?
According to the Mayans, it already has.
And those are my answers to Suldog's 11 questions. I'd come up with my own 11 questions to ask, but I will spare you the agony.