Links - BUSTED!

*hum-hum* Lurk-ers . . . Lurk-ers . . . whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come bust you?

Sorry. I have been watching too many "Cops" shows lately. I can’t get that dang song out of my head. Oh well, I will go ahead and make a post about it.

Have you ever visited someone’s blog just out of curiosity and . . . holy crap! Am I-I about to ask a q-question to my b–b-blog readers? Take a deep breath, Michelle. Try to recover from the lack of a story.

Ahem, when going to a new blog, have you ever scanned their sidebar and their favorite links to see whom they visit . . . okay. Let us drop the act and be honest with each other. We all know that when we check out their blogrolls we are really looking for our site’s name. Don’t try to deny it. We all have that stupid expectation of believing our blog is the single most important one out there and that everyone should have the link in their sidebar - in pretty colors - with neon arrows pointing it out - and selling widgets that allow them to click on the URL as we collect 95% of the profits.

So, how do you feel when your peepers scan the blogroll and you DO find your link there? Giddy? Peeved? Perplexed on why your link is on a blog which shows a YouTube video on how to make squirrel sandwiches as afternoon snacks for the kids?

(Sorry, everyone. I am not lying about the YouTube video. There is a cooking show floating around where the mother and her son goes outside with a pellet gun as they take down a squirrel. Then she shows you how to cook it. No, I have not seen the video and I do not plan to link to it.)

Anyway, I have had this happen to me - no, not the squirrel sandwich. I mean finding a lurker who has put my URL on their blog. Finding my link always makes me giggle uncontrollably as the people around me light candles and join hands to perform an exorcism. I suppose this can annoy other bloggers. "If they are visiting my site, why can’t they leave a message," would be one of the frustrations screamed at the silent computer screen.

Calm down! Don’t get worked up about it. Look at the situation at another angle: You have a secret admirer, a little like the highschool Dungeons & Dragons nerd who writes the popular cheerleader/football star’s name all over their notepad and has pictures hanging over their bed. Yes, I realize this can be disturbing since many bloggers go by other identities and could be your creepy neighbor who videotapes the garbage men while leaving them presents on top of the trash bags (I am so glad I moved from that neighborhood.) Still, just think of all the attention you are getting. Better to have your link on their blog than your toenail clippings stolen and placed on a shrine in their closet.

So, what do you do when you bust one of your lurkers? Do you give link love and place their name in your sidebar while leaving a message on their blog? Do you email the lurker to inform them that you have linked to their site? Do you ignore them until they get frustrated and finally leave a comment, at which time you give link love? Or do you do nothing and hope their shrine does not involve live sacrifices?

(Wow! Asking questions is really nifty. I shall endeavor to voice such inquiries upon your minds post haste in a momentous fashion come upon the bright aura as it glows with the flowing ticks of the clock - in other words, I will ask a lot more questions to you in the near future.)

*If you are wondering about what I do in this situation, I’ll leave a comment on the lurker’s blog although sometimes I will not bust them about the link - just a simple hello from me to them. Then I will place their link in my blogroll. Of course, I’ll admit that I am a HUGE LURKER. I have linked blogs where I have never posted comments. Of those that I read on a daily basis, I have subscribed to their posts through Google Reader. This makes it easier to read them all at once (secretly) and go on a jittery blog-deficiency if they haven’t made a post in awhile. So never fear if you don’t see my name in the various Internet applications that allow you to track who is reading your site. I am reading your posts, and I am on my way to collect your toenail clippings - MWAHAHAHAHA!*