I got tagged by SULDOG! Yes, Mr. Jim "Suldog" Sullivan tagged me to do this meme. I know the real reason is not that he likes me, because no one puts the people they like through such torture. This is the real reason, and this, and this!
*Jim, it’s not my fault the photos got lost in the mail. Honest! I sent them. Check with your neighbors. Maybe someone got the envelope by mistake and is now hiding the incriminating evidence under the bed with his, ahem, reading materials*
Okay, on with this torture. I mean post. A brief breakdown of the rules, hey! What the f . . . ? Jim never did answer the questions himself! Why am I playing along?
Oh, yes, that’s right. I am playing along for the fun of it. This is what the therapist is telling me. Since I have to give a logical answer for paying the therapy bill to put her kids through college, I will play along for the fun of it - no matter how deranged my answers will be.
The breakdown of the rules:
My life - The Movie
If you had to select celebrities/actors to play the parts in the story of your life today (including yourself), who would it be and why - this can be based on looks or personality.
1. List the people who would play you, and the key people in your life.
2. Give credit to the person who tagged you.
3. Tag four new people to participate.
Hee-hee! You cannot be serious, Jim. I watch an average of three hours of television a week, sometimes less. I barely remember any actors’ names beside Sean Connery and Sean Connery and (oh, god - he is so cute with that British accent) Sean Connery. But if you insist on this game, well - *cue the dream music*
I imagine my life would be . . . wait. Who would be the key people in my life? Do I even have people?
"HELLO? DO I HAVE PEOPLE?"
My own voice echoes throughout the house. Of course I shouldn’t have expected an answer. I’m not married and I don’t have kids. But I must have people somewhere. Maybe I can find some in my address book. Let’s see. People . . . people . . . where are my people . . . no, the mailman isn’t my person. Maybe this person is one of my key people.
"Hello?" the voice answers.
"Hey, are you my people?" I ask.
"Who is this?" the voice sounds angry.
"I am your sister Michelle."
"Why are you calling me? I don’t need anything." My sister sounds so happy to talk with me.
"I am looking for the key people in my life. Are you my people?" My voice is hopeful.
My sister’s long sigh rolls down the line into my ear. "Key people are those who take an active interest in your everyday life. They talk and do things on a regular basis. We haven’t done anything in over 6 years. I am not people. I am just family."
"Oh." My bottom lip pokes out. "So, our brother and our parents?"
"Not your people," my sister replies.
"Okay." My shoulders sag in disappointment. "Thanks for the help. I really appre-"
*Click* The line goes dead.
I hang up the phone. I guess she was busy and had other things to do. Then I snap my fingers at a brilliant idea. I go through a magazine until finding a credit card advertisement as I dial the number.
"Hello. My name is Karen from American Express. How may I help you?"
"Are you my people? I saw the television commercial with Ellen Degeneres looking for her people and she contacted you." I ask feebly.
"Of course we are your people, ma’am. Which American Express card would you be interested in purchasing today?" Karen sounds eager to please.
I clap my hands happily. "Oh, I don’t need any card. I just need people. I have a meme to do on my blog concerning movie actors playing the key people in my life."
"You poor deluded soul," Karen murmurs before hanging up the phone.
I guess she did not want to become one of my people.
Um, well, this post will be easier than I thought. I just need an actress for me. Little old me. Who would play me and why? There is only one person I can think of. . .
I’m not choosing Halle Berry for looks, because I could only look that hot in a parallel universe where all men are drunk and horny and could care less about my appearance with their beer goggles on. I am also not choosing Halle Berry for her personality, because of the evil laughter I am prone to put in with my posts. I choose Halle because she could really work it with that whip when she played Catwoman. And I can imagine a few people I would like to bow to my mercy and punish with a whip - perhaps a certain handsome man with a British accent.
All right, I’m tagging other people now so I can end this torture.
Sandra - you knew this was coming so I really don’t have to explain myself.
Laughingwolf - because I need a guy in here somewhere.
? - Yes, everyone else can sigh in relief. I’m sparing others from this. I’m picking these two people because I’m curious on how they will respond to this meme.
And now go forth, my tagged children, and multiply with your answers. *cue evil theme music that sounds like Devo's "Whip It*