I had a different post in mind today. I was going to read an excerpt from a new manuscript idea I jotted down a few days ago. Yes. I was going to record my own voice, upload it, and have you listen to the post. Unfortunately, I discovered two disturbing things:
1. The microphone makes that annoying humming/buzzing noise when attached to my laptop, which you can hear in the recording.
2. I hate the sound of my own voice. Always have, always will.
So until I can find a way on how to get rid of the machine noise while finding a cheap doctor who would give me a voice make-over, you are just going to have to deal with having my silent posts. And since I have not been myself for most of the week, I did not make any normal post for today. I’m winging my way through this and, between you and me, I’m doing a horrible job at it.
Anyway, I figured I would share some random (a.k.a. strange) things that have happened in my life. No. Nobody tagged me with a meme. Breathe in long and deep those sighs of relief.
1. I almost got into a rock-paper-scissor match with the man down at the DMV over an argument involving how tall I am.
Weird huh? When I got my driver’s license two years ago, I told the guy behind the desk that I was 5'3. He kept insisting that I was 5'9. The only logical course of action was a three-out-of-five, rock-paper-scissor, death match. Whoever won would have that height on my DL. Whoever lost would be hanged and quartered. As we got our fingers nimble, someone else compared our heights and came toward the conclusion I was 5'6. It was an acceptable compromise for all of us. No blood became shed on their clean linoleum.
2. I have had the extreme fortune of hearing the worst pick-up line from a guy.
Horrible. It was absolutely the last thing a guy could say before a first date. Believe me; I cannot possibly think of any worse way to impress a woman. Brace yourselves and get the barf bags ready.
“I don’t ever want to get married, but I want to have seven kids. Since I already have a son with this other girl, you only have to give me six more.”
Yes, he said that to me. No, I never called him back. Yes, I’m very much resigned to being single for the rest of my life. No, I’m deluding myself that those tears on my face are tears of joy.
3. Six different creatures have bitten me and not one of those bites came from a handsome guy in a speedo.
Six times. I never worked in a zoo or a vet’s office. Although I grew up on a farm, none of the livestock ever sank teeth into me (a pig did to my brother). Here’s the list from the most normal types of animals to the strangest.
Okay. I have humiliated myself enough today. Go amuse yourself somewhere else.